15 December 2011

Are You Happy HERE?

You are HERE!


Are you happy here? Is here deeply fulfilling and meaningful? Is here where you want and chose to be? Is here successful?

Is the path that got you here, gonna get you there? Do you know where there is?

Are you lost?

14 December 2011

We Are Evolving, It's Messy and Painful

What I believe we are experiencing right now, is, at the leading edge, the birth of a new level of consciousness. It is quite simply the birth of new emergent capacities in being and becoming, a rising, deepening and broadening of what it means to be human.

We have complex problems to solve and in order to solve them we are evolving new ways to think, new ways to behave and new ways to organise. In responding to what appears to be a world in crisis, we are adapting and we are changing.

What took evolution 10,000’s of years we are doing in decades and this is what it feels like, from within,

On the outside looking in it seems chaotic and on the inside looking out, miraculous.

The cup that is so full empties, making space for the new.

New ways of organising, require new ways of behaving. New ways of behaving require new ways of thinking. New ways of thinking require new ways of being.

Leadership, relationship, communication, business and governance, nothing is sacred, all will be transformed as the new emerges.

Is it guaranteed ... no.

Will it be painful ... yes.

And like all new life, it is precarious.

13 December 2011

The World Will Never Know or Miss A Story Never Told

Here’s the thing about living in stories, which is what we do without knowing that that's what we do, and without intentionally having authored our own.

We end with our best role being the second fiddle character in the story of others.

Some stories we just don’t care about and they probably don’t have much impact on our lives. Some stories we can’t stand but since we can’t change them, we either accept or fall victim to them. Others we love, they empower, but only to a point, because they’re our own.

How many of us have taken the time to really understand, craft and embody our story, because it’s not possible to be a victim of the story we write.

It’s in discovering, knowing, living and embodying our story, that we are both empowered and liberated.

12 December 2011

Saying NO, Doesn't Mean I Have To Say YES.

When it comes to shaping the societal world we live in, the two most important words in any language are YES and NO.

YES I give my consent and permission for this to happen, or NO I don’t, and of course saying nothing is exactly the same as saying, YES.

In the language of the Occupy Wall Street movement, the 99% are saying something and what we are saying is, NO.

I say ‘we’ because clearly I am not part of the 1%, which by default then makes me part of the 99%

We are saying NO to a pervasive culture of corporate greed, irresponsible governance and excessive governmental and federal influence. We are saying NO to governmental deregulation, which is the same as saying corporate self-regulation. We are saying NO to the legal concept that corporations have the same (if not more) legal rights than flesh and blood people.

We are saying NO to the way things are ...

So what is it exactly are we saying YES to?

We are saying YES, lets change the narrative, but we’re not quite sure of what to change it to since we’re in the process of working that out, and history can’t help. We are saying YES to a new type of creative dialogue and process of complex problem solving. We are saying YES to the idea that people are more important than profits, but and this is important, not that profits are bad.

Occupy Wall Street is a revolution in much the same way the 60’s where a revolution in consciousness. Will it succeed in creating a more humane, just and equitable social order?

It’s not the people in big business who are a problem, it’s the narrative of big business itself. The narrative is much like the narrative of Monopoly. ‘Carry on playing until no one’s left, but the winner, which of course means the game comes to an end’.

The narrative ends when there is nothing left ... nothing.

That’s where the story ends and #OWS is simply saying .... NO, it ends now, while we still have something of value.

11 December 2011

The Gap

There is a gap and in this gap lies the 'lie we live'.

This gap is the distance between the values we strive to represent and the values our daily behaviour communicates.

But it stands to reason that if we're learning and growing there must be a gap, and we therefore liars.

Now if someone points out the gap, they have exposed the lie and who wants to be exposed as a liar.

But we must be liars if we are to grow, because only a rock can have zero gap between the values it strives to hold and the daily values it's behaviour communicates.

And I am a big fat liar since the values I strive to represent lie way ahead of the values my daily behaviour communicates, and the more I learn and grow the bigger the gap.

But because I have developed my capacity to become more interested in my growth than I am in protecting my image (as a non-liar), I give permission to those around me to point out the lies they see.

So please be gentle ...

And it's not comfortable and I am exposed, but I have made a choice and this choice demands I widen and embrace the gap.

10 December 2011

Why We Need To Discern Good Information From Bad

How can we know the difference between good information that works and bad, that doesn't?

Good information empowers, bad enslaves, but with empowerment comes the need for evolving response-ability and mastery.

Good information although it's often initially more uncomfortable creates self-evident expansive shifts. Bad, although initially more pleasant or reassuring triggers a pathological contraction.

We experience expansion as happiness, connection, joy even ecstasy. We experience contraction as isolation, guilt, doubt and fear.

Bad information is addictive but passive. Good, interesting even intriguing, but difficult to sustain since it demands change.

Good information uses a methodology of scientific investigation with bad completely uninhibited by the need to verify the integrity of it's content.

As we embark on a path of developing personal identity and mastery for the purpose of enhancing performance, meaning and deep happiness, we need to become increasingly discerning of the information we digest.

09 December 2011

Reinventing, Me

Let’s acknowledge and validate the classic midlife crisis. It’s cool, I’ve had 3, and I’m only 45.

Although we may picture a early 50’s balding guy with a paunchy gut, wobbly marriage, successful but completely uninspiring career, buying a porche and trolling for babe’s. This is a tragic depiction of what’s really going on.

Although admittedly, it’s traumatic even debilitating when experienced from the inside and denied as inappropriate from the outside. And let’s not kid ourselves, it not the exclusive domain of men any longer.

It’s a crisis of meaning, purpose and identity. It’s a time when the values that drove us to get where we are, are not the values that can possibly motivate us to get to where we need to be.

And although we may not be entirely sure of where that is, we are certain ... it’s not here.

A midlife crisis, if handled intelligently, compassionately and skillfully may be likened to a chiropractic adjustment, a realignment. It’s a time to consciously and intentionally reinvent and re-create ourselves aligned with a deeper more meaningful purpose and contribution.

It means it’s time to take the next step.

We’re going though a midlife crisis when life, relationships and work seems uninspiring, dull, grey and flat and in which you can’t see the meaning in what you do. It feels as if you are living someone else life, which in a way you are.

Let’s validate the midlife crisis as a profoundly intelligent psychological response to our need for a more compelling identity and future.

08 December 2011

Strategy, Logistics, Outcomes

Strategy, the plan we make. Logistics, its execution.

Strategy, like choreography, a sequence of sets or combinations of moves.

Logistics, like martial arts, training, technique and tools.

The more sophisticated the mind that created it, the more complex the strategy, the more artful the execution and the more divergent the roles.

Inherent in strategy, like the air we breath, lies logic or reasoning, and reasoning like the leaves on a tree, hang on the assumptions (beliefs), complexity and mastery layered within.

That the purpose of business is solely for profit translates one way, that business is both profit and social response-ability, another. One strategy simple, one beautifully and richly more complex.

A masterful strategy may be designed, but if those who execute do not or can not grasp the inherent logic, the strategy, un-execution-able.

And countless [business, organisational and personal] strategies, grounded in mythic false assumptions like both mechanical and creative thinking respond equally well to carrot and stick, irrational, delivering the very outcomes they seek to avoid.

Why is that ...

07 December 2011

Who Am I, Will Knowing That Help My Performance and Happiness

It’s obvious, right. You lie at the heart of your personal performance and well-being, and at the heart of your performance and happiness lies personal mastery [mastery over you], not self-control, that’s something else entirely.

If by mastery we mean an expert understanding and skill in ...

Is it possible to know who you are, because if performance and happiness depend on mastery and mastery depends on understanding [and skill], then understanding or knowing yourself is mission critical.

Yes it is.

I can’t explain in this post, not because it’s impossible, esoteric or wacky spiritual, but because you’re complex and it’s takes time to not only theoretically understand but experientially verify. Which is the only way you really get to know who you are.

A coffee machine is made up of components that work together as a unit. You, just like a coffee machine are made up of components which work together, including your brain, physiological and energetic components, much like a dog or cat.

But your have something unique. You have the capacity for self-reflective awareness. You can learn about you. You can master you, change your thinking, reasoning and behaviour, quickly.

This makes mastery important, and this what makes knowing 'Who Am I' important to your performance and happiness.

06 December 2011

Everything is possible ...

... but some are just more probable.

05 December 2011

Why Is It We Lose Our MOJO?

For some it’s the grind, the years and decades of high work, financial, relationship and family performance. It’s not that any of these are bad, it’s just they all drink freely from the cup of MOJO.

For some it’s a big traumatic event which hammered confidence and squeezed the MOJO.

For some the MOJO stopped when the goals of financial independence and professional recognition where satisfied, or whatever goals they may have been. Now the idea of creating a new life’s purpose needs some MOJO we just don’t got.

For some the MOJO we had, which got us here is not the MOJO we need, to get us there.

And for some the MOJO cup was just half empty to begin with.

But MOJO is not a scarce resource ...

We could wait for a lucky event to get the MOJO going, but that’s a bit like playing the lotto, or do what it takes to get the MOJO flowing.

MOJO though, second time round, is a little more tricky and takes a little more mastery ...

04 December 2011

[Sunday Contemplation] The Value In And Hidden Trap Of Stories

It's worth remembering ... It's all a story.

We understand the cosmos and our place in it through stories, and it's the story that enables or dis-empowers. That Jews were to blame for the suffering of the Germans, the Nazi story. That the universe began with a big bang, the cosmologists story. That there is a heaven and a hell, the religious story.

Jesus is a story and he told stories and Buddha was a great story teller and most of what we know of him, is a story. Psychology is filled with stories as is theoretical mathematics and quantum physics. Democracy, autocracy, theocracy, all stories.

There is no truth, just stories. Some more consistent that others and others more probable than some, and all stories evolve.

We are driven by stories, we can't escape it. Part of growing up is becoming aware of the stories that motivate and shape our behaviour, and of taking response-ability for crafting better more useful ones when it becomes clear the problem is not with the world, but with our stories of the world.

The story though is not at all important, it's the effect the story has, that is ...

03 December 2011

An Emergent Model Of Business Needs A Greater Complexity Of Thinking

At the heart of the traditional model of business lies core desire to make money, that’s it's overriding purpose, and if possible make a small difference and contribution.

At the heart of the enlightened model of business lies the more complex core desire to make a difference and contribution and almost as an apology, make money.

At the heart of the emergent model of business lies the infinitely more sophisticated and complex core desire to make money, make a unique difference and contribution, and all in a way that’s morally, socially and environmentally responsible.

Three core assumptions, three core motives, three core strategies, three core outcomes and three levels of complexity thinking.

02 December 2011

It's Not All Of Mastery

If an expression of gross mastery is the ability to sit physically still regardless of how uncomfortable one may get, for as long as one has previously determined, then what would a corresponding expression of subtle or metal mastery be?

If mastery is the ability to choose freely which physical, emotional or psychological impulse to respond to, then would that not depend on an ability to not respond to any?

Without mastery we are driven by a compulsion to respond to almost every emotion, feeling and thought twitch and impulse, a few of which take us toward our vision, the vast bulk away.

Ask anyone and they would agree on the need for mastery. Ask the same person to explain in exact detail what it means to be perfectly psychologically still and you will at best get a vague non committal answer.

It’s not all of mastery, but mastery depends on choice and on the trained ability to consistently choose which sensation, emotion, thought and feeling to respond to, which means being able to not respond to any.

01 December 2011

Stuck Is Always The Problem

and there’s hardly a product or service out there that is not designed to help in one way or another, get us unstuck. Everyone gets stuck, we just get stuck at different places, for different reasons and with different amounts of money.

Those with the right personality, education or talents create initial success faster and easier, but get stuck later. It’s more frustrating for them because they’re unused to getting stuck. They've come to believe they’re bullet proof and beyond it, so when they do, they tend to project the pain they feel.

Getting stuck is always painful.

Those with more difficult personalities, less education or apparent talents get stuck earlier, which is even more painful, with most never getting out the blocs. However, if they do, they can come to create awesome success, but it takes infinitely more effort, persistence and mastery.

And that too will get them stuck, later.

We are never limited by our personalities, education, talents or beliefs, but rather by our refusal to adapt, learn and grow.

30 November 2011

Ignore The Existential, Pay The Price


There's a clear cultural focus on developing functional thinking, thinking that needs to solve problems, create outcomes and move forward. We've learned to neglect the existential which asks uncomfortable questions like 'who am I', 'why am I here', 'where did we come from', 'what is the point' and more specifically 'what is the point of me'?

There's the irrational belief that we can ignore or placate the existential with archaic dogma, but we can't. At some point these unanswered questions become the reason, regardless of our professional or material success, we get stuck. And stuck is always going to feel deeply uncomfortable causing frustration, depression and anger and besides our own mental well being, others pay the price.

There is the naive belief that to inquire into the existential ultimately leads to the narrow ideology of organised religeon, which is doesn't.

Sure we're a zillion miles from knowing everything but we know enough to engage in intelligent, meaningful and rewarding existential conversations. Conversations that get us moving forward with clarity, vision and newfound purpose.

29 November 2011

Why Do Programs or Promises Of Change Almost Always Fail?

Why is sustainable or permanent behavioural change, personal or organisational, so difficult?

Corporates, business and institutions spend a fortune on training and development, people spend a ton on learning and personal development, and most of it doesn’t take hold ... why?

Billions make relatively simple New Year resolutions, something like taking a bit of exercise more regularly or of changing the way they eat. Stand back, these are not outrageously complex or difficult objectives, yet how much of it translates into real permanent change.

Hardly any ... why?

We can change the what, we can even change the how but if we don’t transform the why, the chances of sustainable or permanent change are slim to nothing.

Changing the 'what' works quickly, but doesn't stick.
Changing the 'how' is more complex and sticks a little longer, but the 'what' still needs to be worked on.
Change the 'why' and a sustainable shift is created, but it's complex and the 'how' and the 'what' still need to be worked on. And systems quickly need to be develop embedding and holding the new patterns.

Change programs fail or achieve limited success because they fail to transform the why. Admittedly the why is seriously tricky to work with which is precisely why it's ignored and why change programs almost always fail.


What
How
Why


And that's the easy part, because ...

There are levels and bundles of why and it's an on going process. This is why it's as important to learn or teach people how to expose, work with and transform the why's, on their own. 

Which is why you need to be very clear about why you want to do it, to begin with.  Sustainable change is usually driven by either big dreams or big pain.

28 November 2011

Our Problem Is Immaturity, But Who's Going To Own Up To That?

Sure there’s such a thing as hard work and skills development and with maturity it’s easy to recognise and respond to the need for both. The point is, hard or skillful work does not mean mature thinking and behaviour, and it’s immaturity that can’t cope with, solve or even acknowledge the complexity of the problems we face.

The assumption is that psychological maturity develops automatically with age, which it doesn't.
The assumption is that we should instinctively know how to psychologically grow up, which is absolutely not the case. 
The assumption is that we have been taught how to develop maturity, which we haven't.
The assumption is that corporate, political and organisational leaders are mature, which is profoundly untrue. They can be amongst the least mature, but the most confident or driven (driven by what makes for an interesting discussion).

The only way immaturity (less mature than is needed to effectively deal with the problem) can solve complex problems, is either by dismissing or ignoring large chunks of the problem or the whole problem itself.

Our problem is a profound lack of maturity, measured against the complexity of the problems we face. And almost everyone is looking to the next person to solve their problem of not being able to understand the problems to begin with.

Or we ignore large chunks or the entirety of the problem and leave it to the leaders ...

27 November 2011

[Sunday Contemplation] Are You Trapped In The Old, Searching For The New?


Dear friends

There is the old and there is the new, the old is not bad and the new not good, both have their place on the scale of usefulness.

The old is crumbling and the new struggling to be born, but although decaying the old is not weak for it controls both real world power and wealth.

The new listens to the words of the old but hears only stories, myths and the anxieties of children. And in listening to the new, the old although perceiving a spark, inevitably sees only weakness as in the garbled wisdom of the elderly.

Although strong the old is rigid, and although soft the new is open and interested.

The old was developed using discipline, control and punishment and the new by mastery, autonomy and purpose. The old collects in groups driven by the need to protect and collude and the new by common interests, vision and the wholehearted desire to cooperatively create.

The old was once new as the new is now, and the new over time will become as the old has now become. All things great once began as fragile and all things decayed once stood as great.

There is the new way and there is the old and although they use the same words they speak a different language.

One speaks of power and ancestry and the other of mastery and authenticity. One speaks of control, the other of influence. One speaks of peace while making war and the other of disobedience while creating tolerance.

The old is simple, but it all it's cleverness can't keep up. And for the new to be, it must learn to embrace the core truths of the old and emerge not replace.

26 November 2011

Creating Success and Deep Happiness, How?

It was in the early days of teaching meditation and enlightenment that I met a guy who had been meditating for 20 years, 2 hrs per day, with a total time investment of 14,600hrs. His challenge was ... the meditation wasn't translating into real success or a better quality of life i.e. his life still sucked.

The answer, he was doing it wrong, so wrong it was hurting. He had to start again, which as I'm sure you can imagine, wasn't enthralling.

Sure, he learned discipline and self-control and although that helped him achieve a level or type of success, it wasn't the total success he wanted nor the deep happiness he longed for.

Effort, discipline and control take us only so far and although they may deliver a measure of success, even happiness, to the extent it's achieved, a hefty price is paid.

This is the world we live in, the world we've created. The model of success we've developed and which we unquestionably follow achieves limited success for some, maximum success for a tiny few and is responsible for the untold pain and suffering of nearly everyone.

I believe it's important we cultivate and grow our desire to succeed and experience deep happiness, but more importantly we need to carefully re-think how we measure it, how we go about achieving it and why we want it to begin with.

If our limited success and happiness comes at the expense of others and theirs at ours, which in the current model whether we acknowledge it or not, it does, then it's time to collectively change the model.

On the road to greater success and deeper happiness effort is crucial, right effort, mission critical.

25 November 2011

Are You Becoming More Valuable...

... because it’s something we train ourselves to become, not something fixed, dependent upon circumstances, knowledge or skills we have or don’t, are born with or not?

Success and happiness isn’t a light switch either on or off, it’s a dimmer knob we turn, more one way, brighter, more the other, dimmer.

The more success you learn to create and the happier you are, the more valuable you become. And one day I’m certain, you will ask yourself this one simple question ...

Did I have the vision to become more valuable?

24 November 2011

Why Your Boss Isn't Really Interested In Your Learning and Development

Real learning means developing clarity of purpose, higher levels of performance and expectation and the evolving need for autonomy. Learning will change the way you think, problem solve, communicate, behave, do things and organize. It will mean real measurable results and change.

And if it doesn’t, there has been no real learning at all.

And they, by design or compliancy, want more for comparatively less without upsetting the status-quo.

So if you’re serious about creating success and deep happiness, you will need to take matters into your own hands, beginning with learning self-mastery, leadership and influence.

23 November 2011

How To Get From Here To There?

There isn’t a person on the planet who’s not either going somewhere, or stuck, which in a weird way is still going somewhere ... more stuck.

Now here can be one of several places, either stuck, moving forward and you want to get there, faster, or moving forward but not in the direction of there, some other direction you don't want to be going.

Stuck means no forward momentum and suffocatingly little space. Trapped in repetitive patterns (of behavior and systems) and results, neither of which provide much happiness or meaning. Getting unstuck means energetically creating both space and movement. Space allows for movement and movement makes space, either of which are random because it’s actually the momentum you’re searching for. It's the momentum that eventually breaks through, and gets you unstuck.

Getting there faster means clarity and vision and going through the tough but regular process of deciding what's needed and what's baggage. Lose the baggage and develop what’s needed, which moves you along faster and creates greater momentum. Of course greater momentum and speed require greater mastery and skill.

Heading in the wrong direction means, slowing down, revisiting vision and reducing momentum which gets you to the point of being able take an exit. You don't need to come to a complete stop, but you can't be zooming along either, you'll just keep missing the exit and end up getting stuck at high speed.

22 November 2011

Why Does My Success Seem Always Just One Step Ahead?

Imagine living inside a whisper, a whisper neither audible nor comprehensible, a whisper of neither words nor thoughts, but a feeling.

Impossible to locate or eradicate, endlessly repeating the mantra, 'there's something wrong, there's something dreadfully wrong, there something missing, you need to fix what's wrong, you need to find what's missing ... then and only then will you experience the success, happiness and meaning you desire.'

And no matter what success you achieve, how much personal growth you do or how much you party, congregate or bathe in luxury, the whisper only grows becoming a roar, which although you still can't hear (because it’s a feeling and not a thought or word) soon comes to dominate your mental landscape.

There's something dreadfully wrong, there's something missing ... It’s an itch you can not seem to scratch.

Every success inevitably translates to failure, every relationship inevitably experienced as lack.

Feeding it makes it hungrier, ignoring it makes it louder. Discipline quietens it, but when austerity ends which it must, it emerges louder and stronger than ever.

There’s something wrong with me, the world, my partner, friends and family. There’s something missing, I need to discover what’s missing. Like a spotlight it shines its perception of lack and wrong on all it sees, driving your anxiety filled participation.

In truth nothing is missing, nothing is wrong, it’s simply the projection of a feeling, the interpretation of an unseen mindset assumption, that whispers ...

But this does not mean there is no work to do.

21 November 2011

Unlike Our Ancestors ...

... we have the potential to willfully transform how we think, behave and organise, quickly.

Watching David Attenborough's First Life I was fascinated to see the first creatures struggle from sea onto land, making heroic efforts to breath, move and survive in an utterly new and hostile environment.

Completely unaware of what they were doing, they are none-the-less the hero’s of evolution, and we the recipients. If they could have thought, if they had been able to appreciate the gravity and the slim chance of success their efforts had, most I believe would simply have slipped back into the ocean.

Today, right now we are making valiant efforts to evolve and adapt to an utterly new environment. Many will fail, but all attempts are needed, because in the struggle to adapt, learn and develop, quantity counts.

But we have the nuke of evolutionary armament. We have a developed brain which observes, reasons and re-wires, constantly adapting and changing.

It’s not a given though, it’s a trained, developed and mastered capacity.

20 November 2011

It's Easier the Simpler It Is

We mistakenly believe that thinking is only about new knowledge and ideas, and it is, but it's also about methods of reasoning and logic. For example, the traditional model of business has one objective, to make money and there's nothing wrong with that, except now include real social, moral and environmental responsibility and the logic breaks down. It can’t cope.

It's easier to make money without the constraints of social, moral and environmental responsibility (to whatever degree) and more difficult if there are. It creates a whole new level of complexity needing a whole new way of reasoning and thinking to solve.

But this new logic is not lying around waiting to be found or discovered, it literally has to be created, and anything created progresses through the stages of trial and error.

This makes the work of the socially responsible entrepreneur, business owner and professional infinitely more complex. Not only are they running the show, but they’re working out a new ways of thinking and behaving and ‘competing’ with businesses that do not operate under these 'onerous' constraints.

19 November 2011

Success Enables

Success itself is of limited personal value. It's the evolving meaning, purpose and happiness it enables, we ultimately desire.

Success ...

... on the one hand is about results and achieving acknowledged and measurable objectives. It moves through levels of difficulty and complexity. The meaning and happiness experienced at one soon gives way to frustration and resentment, until the challenges of the next are embraced.

... on the other is about consistent, measured and acknowledged learning and development regardless of the results. Happiness and meaning are experienced in proportion to the depth and speed of the learning and growth.

The danger, as always, lies in leaping from the heavens and trying to fly with only one wing.

18 November 2011

From Job to Calling, Successfully

A job is what we do when we are young and have limited experience, untrained abilities, talent and self-mastery. It satisfies the fundamental motivation of needing to earn money and provides at least initially a degree of happiness and meaning.

A career is what we do when we are more mature, have experience and developed a degree of vision and trained abilities, talents and self-mastery. It satisfies the fundamental motivation for recognition and provides a new higher degree of happiness and meaning.

A calling is what we do when we are 'psychologically' mature to make a significant difference and contribution in the world, have honed abilities, talents and self-mastery and crafted a unique and compelling vision. It satisfies the fundamental motivation to ‘create’ and provides significantly higher levels of happiness and meaning.

Outer success is the ability to meet predefined objectives in spite of, or more accurately because of, adverse, difficult, challenging or changing contexts. Inner success is the ability to consistently learn and improve regardless of whether outer objectives are met or not.

17 November 2011

Clarity in Communication Improves Results

All behavior is communication and all communication either asks for a need to be met or meets the need of another.

Asking your partner to meet your need to be loved is not expressing a need, it's expressing how you will feel after your need has been met. It does not help them understand what they need to do in order for you to feel loved or validated.

And although we may know how we want to feel, we most often have no idea of how to get there. And even if we did we’re afraid to ask, or we don't know how to ask in a way that actually works.

'Darling, I’m feeling vulnerable right now, could you give me a big teddy bear hug and let me know you care'.

This expresses to my partner, how I feel and makes a clear behavioural request they can easily understand and meet, if they so choose.

But it leaves me out on a limb.

16 November 2011

Solving Big Problems (We All Have Them)

I help people solve big problems, but obviously only the people who acknowledge they have big problems to solve. Most live in denial, self-righteous indignation or blissful ignorance, which although sounds delightful does not mean they escape the consequences of not solving them.

If you're falling it does not matter whether you know, blame someone else or deny the fact you’re falling for the consequences of hitting the road to be just as real.

Of the people who acknowledge they have big problems to solve most are in crisis, which makes the process infinitely more difficult, because crisis promotes the victim, absorbs brain power and limits both creative and strategic thinking.

A tiny few both acknowledge there are complex problems to solve and stand prepared to do the mental work required to develop the talents and potentials needed to begin the often protracted and uncomfortable work of owning, and solving them.

23 October 2011

Is Presence All It's Cracked Up To Be

Presence is space and time, but all the space and time in the world is not going to help you if your vision, thinking, beliefs, assumptions, reasoning and skills are trapped in spirals of dysfunctionality.


A guy with a knife come charging at you, kamikaze style. You notice and right away things slow way down, like shifting gears in a car. Not like slow motion or walking through water, you just feel calm, centred and very alert and you have time to look around and think in surprisingly complex ways, and calculate. This gives you an edge, but only if your not thinking in circles.

You’re in a super heightened state of alertness where your senses and thinking are turbocharged, but without tension or anxiety, in fact you’ve dropped a notch and are super relaxed

This is called presence and if you’ve done the time (training) you’ll have access to it, but it’s in times of crisis that you really notice and need it, call it the moments of measure. Cos it’s not often a guy with a rising sun bandanna and a carving knife comes charging at you screaming ... banzai ...

That gets me thinking about our friend the haka’ring Maori ... wonder what’s up with him.

Ok, so presence, freedom, space, call it what you will, has its uses and I’m sure you get that.

But here’s the thing ...

With all the time in the world, if you haven’t developed a vision and purpose and new creative and strategic ways of thinking, which includes rationalising your beliefs and assumptions and developing skills and your capacity to hear, interpret and respond to your intuition, you’re not gonna be much better off than you were when walking around in a coma.

Yes, it is complex and yes there is a lot to learn, but we all face big challenges and reductionist simplistic thinking, which may appear to solve complex problems, only ends up making them worse.

And training your vision, thinking, reasoning, logic, intuition and skills without developing presence is just as erroneous, because although we need new ways of thinking and reasoning to solve big problems,without space, time and objectivity we remain trapped in circles.

It’s in the moments of crisis that we get to check if the work we’ve done, has stuck.

And even using the better equipment will not automatically translate into better result, cos there’s about a billion things influencing what it is that you end up doing. It’s simply a process of trial and error and over time noticing slowly improving outcomes.

Which of course is why you need to be very clear about why you’re doing it - i.e. developing your capacity to be present, transforming your thinking, reasoning and logic and developing your skills and intuition - to begin with, because more than likely your results, at the beginning, are gonna be worse and not better.

I know, I can be a party pooper.

Guess that’s why most people only start when they’re in crisis and things just couldn’t get any worse. Or business changes when they’re staring bankruptcy in the eyeballs. Or, and this is apt, humanity changes only when we get that we might really be facing extinction.

Go figure ...

26 June 2011

Self, Culture and Evolution

It’s the self that’s experiencing life, the degree of happiness, joy, satisfaction, reward, meaning and purpose, you’re feeling, and it’s the same self that’s working to influence (create), along with all the others, our cultural future, and secondly deal with the consequences of the future which we’ve all already influenced and created, and which you’re now living through.

It’s your quality of experience that’s determining the degree and quality of your participation and it’s the results you’re living through that’s influencing and even determining your quality of experience.

And all of this within an evolving 100,000 year cultural and 13.7 billion years cosmic process.

I wish I could make it simpler and easier, but without understanding who this self is (physical, metal and psychological) and without understanding the principals of evolution, you’re going to find yourself, to one degree or another, floundering with less influence and effectiveness (than you could have), which means more struggle and hardship, over your moment to moment experience, the nature and quality of your participation and the future results you/we create and experience.

And the argument that it’s all a mystery, is just no longer valid. It’s not that we know everything, it’s that we know enough ... to take response-ability.

And we swim within a common knowledge of self and evolution that’s at best archaic and at worst random, contradictory, irrational and self emasculating, but we now have the knowledge or at least, we have enough.

So let me ask, what steps have you taken to gain real knowledge, not common knowledge, of this self within a cosmic and culturally evolving context, because if you think about it for just a moment it’s obvious that without knowledge and skill in working with this self and without knowledge and skill in working within culture and an evolving context, you are going to struggle, be less effective and influential and feel more dis-empowered and disenfranchised?

22 June 2011

Your Inconsistency Is 100% Consistent With Your Real Beliefs

A Simple Story

From the bathroom I heard a voice, that of one of my daughters, yes I have 3, shout, ‘mommy, I need some soap’, and from the kitchen I heard mommy, that would be my wife, shout in reply, ‘don’t shout at me from another room, it’s rude’.

An easy observation would be that my wife, believing that shouting from another room was rude, was making efforts to train my daughter in more polite behaviour.

But what was really going on is fascinating.



20 June 2011

Of Purpose And Evolution

I’m sure you’ve deeply considered the mind-expanding insight that our highly developed capacity for self-reflective awareness and individuality is the product of a hundred thousand years of cultural evolution, and cultural evolution the product of three billion years of biological evolution, and biological evolution the product of almost fourteen billion years of cosmic evolution, and all of it just one unfolding process.

And no matter how you slice the cake, you come back again and again to the questions, for what purpose, to what end and what (if anything) drives this engine of evolution?

14 June 2011

What's The Value In Getting All Wound Up?

I used to teach Hatha Yoga and through the carefully constructed practice, I would see my clients visibly soften. And after the classes many would say, wow Paul, I feel so relaxed, open, alive and alert, thank you so much.

And no sooner had they put there foot out the door then they started winding themselves up again.


And my question is why, why would anyone do that to themselves, and to the rest of us?

01 June 2011

When Is The Issue Mindset And When Is It ... Something Else? Pt2

For Pt1



Response to Pt1:
Thanks for addressing my question [When is the issue mindset and when is it ... something else?]
How much do you actually know about the human psyche, your psyche, that internal mechanism that drives your behaviour and logic.

I'm a mystery to myself, revealed weekly like a serialized detective novel. My whole life is about figuring out why, what, how and all that, searching for clues.

31 May 2011

The Contraction and The Haka'ring Moari

You're relaxed it’s early morning and you’re shlumping bleary eyed down your apartment passage, coffee in hand when the beyond incomprehensible happens. Something resembling a half naked heavily tattooed Maori dude doing the Haka LEAPS OUT in front of you ... and yells AAARGGG ... veins throbbing, tongue extended and eyes bulging.



25 May 2011

When Is The Issue Mindset And When Is It ... Something Else? Pt1

A friend of mine who also happens to be a successful small business owner and independent professional, asked me this intriguing question. [Link to part 2]

Question:
When is the issue mindset and when is it … something else? What else could it be if I’m smart and talented?

My Answer:
It’s always mindset :)

So the question may then be better phrased - Besides mindset what else could the issue be?

18 May 2011

Think, Think, Think'ing, Pooh Bear Style

With all due respect to the whole ‘Be Here Now’ New Age movement, the solution to your problems and the realisation of your vision does not lie in ‘not thinking’, I mean that’s just asinine, it lies in thinking. As weird as it may seem, you unintentionally thought yourself into the problem, you need to intentionally think yourself out of the problem.




The Smuck Was Starkers

Are you aware that Buddha has a birthday, and that his birthday was yesterday. Nothing significant in this except that over here we all had a long weekend ... again.


I know Hong Kong is crazy busy and people work hard, I’m just not exactly sure of when they work, because between all the secular and religious holidays, of which we celebrate both Christian and Chinese, my girls seem to spend more time at home than at school.

Which of course gets me to asking, whether we send our children to school to learn, or just to get them out our hair - how’s that for projecting.

04 May 2011

A NEW Model Of Business Just Sounds Silly

Here’s the thing, what would a new (future?) model of business look like, what distinguishes a new model from an old model, do we really need one and why, what would be the consequences of not transitioning to a new model and if a new model is necessary what is required to transition from one to the other?


But here’s a good place to start - What is meant by a model [of business] and what does it have to do with the average person, you and I, just doing our thing?

13 April 2011

The Stuggle Against Corporate Big Business - Survive and Thrive

So how does small independent business survive competing against bigger corporate business? And the short answer is - they don’t.

Bigger more established corporate business has access to more resources, money and technology, bigger and better venues, more and better advertising and more often than not cheaper prices, and they’re gobbling up the clients.

So how does a small yoga school in Hong Kong compete against Pure Yoga (in the words of a friend - ‘there is Pure Yoga and then then there is everyone else’). How does an independent pharmacy in South Africa compete against the big discount pharmacies like Clicks and Dischem.


06 April 2011

It's Clear, Something Needs To Change, But What?

Dear Friends

This is the question that drives me to distraction. ‘ How may I best help and in helping, help myself?’

This is what I know

  • We face unprecedented levels of stress, anxiety, frustration, hopelessness, depression, conflict and overwhelm.
  • Most of us are seriously searching for meaning and purpose
  • The vast bulk (let’s say 99%) of small business fail or fail to thrive
  • The vast bulk (let’s say 99%) of relationships fail or fail to thrive
  • The lack of financial resources is the #1 pain most of us experience
  • Retirement is now a major source of stress. We are living longer and the cost of living is escalating daily.
  • Humans have become a formidable negative global environmental influence
  • At the leading edge, our cultural context is developing so fast, it makes our eye’s water

What’s going on, and is going to a spa or bar, or taking an anti-depressant really going to ‘solve the problem’?

It’s pretty clear than something more fundamental needs to change or happen.

But what needs to change?

Are you waiting to be told or do you have an opinion you would like to explore. Leave a comment ... for real :)

03 April 2011

SuperFluid-Response-Ability

What could be more empowering than creating, developing and establishing your own personal and business relevance, and what could be more painful than facing the lack thereof.

Within the business imperative, if you and your business and it’s products are irrelevant or to the extent they are, means you and they are not needed, which means that in the opinion of others you serve no purpose and therefore have no importance.
Och...

01 April 2011

I'm Afraid To Start My Own Business, What Should I Do?

This is a question I received the other day and my response - thought you may find it useful

Question: 
"I want to start my own business [private practice] and though I know what I need to do it, I still procrastinate and put it off until another day.
This is something that I want, but at the same time I think I'm also scared to take that next step."

31 March 2011

Changing Behaviour And The Future, Naturally And Spontaneously

Standing where I am now, in this present moment, and looking into the future and anticipating the consequences of my behaviour in that future, which I neither like nor want, is not the same as saying that my behaviour now, is wrong or bad.

And accepting my behaviour now, without judgement, and which I can clearly anticipate will have unwanted consequences in the future, is not the same as saying that I should continue behaving in the way I am.

27 March 2011

In Relevance We Find Self-Worth

I am of the opinion that within 10 years, with competent guidance, we can come to master any art we set our heart and minds to, be it the art of mathematics, music, businesses, architecture, communication, living or relationships.

The Challenge for the 'Spiritual' Entrepreneur & Small Business Owner

Do you remember the good old days, when two nations went to war, each convinced that they had God on their side?

So who won?

The Greeks, the Christians, the Muslims, maybe those Zen dudes?

18 March 2011

The Need For Mindset Mastery Is Not Rocket Science

We all know that between athletes of comparable technical expertise, strength and fitness, those who have trained in mindset mastery will, without fail, consistently perform better, achieve greater success and get to enjoy that success more, than those who haven't.

16 March 2011

What Do You Need To Believe In Order To Succeed

I would like to share with you a line of investigation which presented itself to me several weeks back and which has, and is, in the process of re-shaping my understanding of, and the way I related to, life.

The line of investigation is actually very simple

What is it that we really need to believe in order to live a deeply relevant, successful and meaningful life, and as a corollary to that, what is the most powerful personal practice we can engage in, to support and deepen an experience of that (a deeply relevant, successful and meaningful life)?

06 March 2011

An Addiction to Impotence

Have you ever contemplated why so few people ever get around to mastering their mindset, yet most (of us) feel completely entitled to consistently and repetitively moan and groan about the problems and challenges in our life. We get it from others and we inflict it on others, and the sense of entitlement is overwhelming.

I mean, if we talk about the challenges in our lives, without simultaneously making an intelligent and creative inquiring into understanding them, and of developing meaningful solutions, which we act on. Then we are simply moaning and whining and spreading the virus of dis-ease and dis-empowerment.

02 March 2011

Transformation Pt 2 - The Transition Stage

Transformation: Transform - TRANSITION - Embody


Unlike the transform stage, which is all about learning, contemplating, questioning, investigating, of dissolving and dismantling old mindset assumptions, beliefs and behaviour, and then of carefully, deliberately and intentionally developing new, better more functional ones to replace them (the unseen inner work). 

The transition stage is all about a radical shift in your external reality - relationships, work and environment.

23 February 2011

Transformation Pt 1 - The Transform Stage

I received a big response to the last Success Secrets Ezine - Some Days, Life Just Sucks (Handling Transformation), - I guess many of us are going through the process - So I figured, it may be of value to dig deeper into the transformation process, because it's extraordinary, relevant and compelling.

Transformation: TRANSFORM - Transition - Embody


The transformation process itself is made up of 3 stages, or sub-processes, each with it's own unique characteristics, needs and techniques, for handling them. It makes managing the process much more challenging when we mix methodologies.

21 February 2011

And the Single Most Important Personal Development Concept Is ... Maturity?

I'm playing my favorite game this morning.

The one where I try to discover and blog about the single most important concept in personal and spiritual growth, in living a meaningful, empowered, purposeful and relevant life, and in developing a successful business aligned with this.

The question as always, is. 'Is there one hook on which we can hang our hat, upon which all others depend?'


And I believe there is - it's called maturity.

16 February 2011

Some Days, Life Just Sucks (Handling Transformation)

Image - www.sodahead.com
I have a friend who right now, is going through a very difficult time. This is an open letter to her, and the reason I'm doing this, is because, if you're on a path of personal transformation, you will face exactly the same thing at some point in your journey.

Hiya Jane
(obviously I have not used her real name)

I know right now life stings like hell, and you feel overwhelmed and almost helpless in the face of all that’s happening. But probably, what hurts more than that, is the knowledge that it's going to get a lot worse, before it starts getting any better.

So let's begin with what you do know, and is pretty obvious. 

14 February 2011

What is the Truth (Video)


Is it necessary for me to position my ideas, beliefs and philosophy as the 'Truth', in order for it to be of value to me?

The Need to Evolve

Zeus - www.freethoughtpedia.com


There is no Abundant Mindset and benefits which flow from that, or Enlightened Business and the benefits which flow from that, without personal transformation, and as glamorous as 'personal transformation' may sound, the process itself is painful, messy and anything but.

I'm not sure how many people, including most women, have really observed the birthing process. I have, 3 times ;) - it's not a pretty sight - and although mothers talk about the pain, blood, guts and mess, it's soon forgotten in the joy of a new life. 

Personal transformation is much the same, but unfortunately there is this naive idea that the process is all rose petals and harps. Most are completely unprepared for the crisis that comes with personal transformation - and here we need to create a distinction between a 'stuck crisis' and a 'growth crisis' - they both feel the same, and without knowing the context, it would be almost impossible to tell them apart.

12 January 2011

Do you Need a Certificate Before Starting Your Own Professional Business

No, 

... but your products and programs do need to solve the real problems of your clients, community and prospects, deliver the results you promise, and the faster the better.

How often do I hear this statement.


"Paul, I would love to coach, to share what I've learned to help others through the difficulties I myself have faced and found a way though, but first I need to get a coaching qualification or certificate."

Why is it that you feel you need to get a certificate or qualification?

Is it not enough that you've done something incredible in your own life, and now feel in a position to help others.

This is one of the reasons I love the coaching and informational industry - You don't need certifications or qualifications. You need to