Paradox

Although we as people are equal the quality of our ideas and actions are not. Some ideas, philosophies and patterns of behaviour have more depth, compassion or intelligence than others.

This means that although we as people are equal, we are not.

Nine mindset insights

At the heart of our psyche lies three core mindsets.

The 'contracted' mindset
The 'deeply at peace' mindset
The 'expansive' mindset

We can shift very quickly between mindsets, but only one at a time.

The inner dialogue of each [as a feeling and not as a cognitive argument] runs something like this.

Contracted: There is something wrong [missing] and I'll participate, but only to the extent I have to in order to fix what is wrong or find what is missing. Then everything will be good.

Deeply at peace: I am free and there is nothing wrong. There is no particular need to participate [do anything] because life will find it's own way.

Expansive: I'm deeply at peace and there's nothing wrong, but I'm bored and would like to do something which I enjoy, am good at, and others find useful.

Feeling threatened physically or psychologically induces a contraction. When that fades we relax until we get bored, something else happens to threaten us, or something intrigues us.

Mindset is a core motive, driver or reason for participation. Relax the mindset and you also relax the motive [reason] to do anything.

It takes a high level of intention and skill to hold the expansive mindset, especially when we feel threatened.

Mindset is a feeling or a state of consciousness.

Each mindset goes about doing things in very different ways, using developed justifications, and creating different results. The results inevitably support the original assumption or motive.

Contracting when facing difficult or demanding situations is easier than either relaxing or expanding, but the results are worse.

There's a time

To a point we can learn the skills of doing more with less. To a point we are able to develop our capacities and efficiencies. [This applies equally to individuals and organisations, big and small]

     But only to a point.

After we have reached that point, and life, relationships and work continue on their inevitable path of escalating complexity, everything begins to hurt just that much more.

     And that escalates, exponentially.

This leaves us pushing back at everything we perceive to be not directly relevant, overwhelmed and frustrated or compelled to dismiss or ignore large chunks or areas of [our] life.

     And that hurts all the more.

What is required is 'the next level'. The next level of thinking and understanding. It's a new operating system complete with vocabulary, logic, patterns of behaviour and systems.

     And right there lies the problem.

The new level thinks in a new way, has a new more coherent identity, speaks and does differently, cherishes different values, builds different systems and gets different results.

There is a time for learning how to do more with less and there's an opportune time for an operating system upgrade. And of the two the level change is more subtle and traumatic, that is until you've intentionally done it a few times.

If you're done with building capacities and feel every inch you gain costs more in energy, it may just be that ...

     you're due for an operating system upgrade

Let's do the math

If global population growth is 1.3% per annum, this means the size of the global population doubles every (70 divided by 1.3) 53 years. That's called the doubling time. That mean 6 billion people on planet earth in year 2000 becomes 12 billion people in year 2053.

That means cities like Hong Kong, New York, London ... etc. will double in size, which means twice the food, resources, consumption, power, garbage, and transport in 53 years. -- It means more than double the complexity.

It mean that for every 1 power station now, there needs to be 2 by then.

This also means that what took us hundreds if not thousands of years to psychologically and physiologically adapt to, we have to do in just 53 years.

Exponential growth changes everything and we're just not noticing it.

The guys planning the roads are not seeing it. The politicians are definitely not seeing it. We're waiting for others to say, hey! there's a monumental challenge storming toward us.

But they're just not seeing it.

And we can't understand a problem or challenge we can't see, and we most certainly can't solve a problem we can't understand.

Exponential growth is accelerating toward us

One of the keys to understanding why now is different to any time in the past, lies in grasping the significance of exponential growth.

Imagine filling a swimming pool with water with a dropper, yet every new drop doubled in size compared the last one. And let's say it took an hour to fill the pool dropping one drop [doubling in size] every second.

At what time would the pool be half full ...?

At one second before the hour.

At what time would the pool be 1/4 full ...?

At two seconds before the hour.

And lets say we discover another 3 swimming pools as receptacles for more water. That's 300% more space than we ever had before. That's huge. How long would it take to fill those extra three pools ...?

Another two seconds.

It took one hour (360 drops) to fill one pool, but two seconds (2 drops) to fill the next 3 pools.

Our growth, consumption, production, debt are all measured and tied to exponential growth. And the simple fact is that exponential growth is unsustainable, it simply can't continue. No how, no way. And when we look around and say but there's still a half left of the total amount of whatever we've consumed or produced in the past ...

... it's one second before the hour. 

And even if we make incredible discoveries, it gives us a few more seconds -- seriously, is that the plan.

We are not in the early stages of exponential growth, we are in the later stages. The world is getting more complex exponentially. We are consuming non-renewable resources exponentially. We are affecting global warming and climate change exponentially. We are creating debt exponentially.

... and we believe

When we notice the problem we'll figure out a way to solve it ... and we will if we wish to survive, 

... however, we're not noticing the problem.

If we rely on conventional wisdom we'll only notice the problem milliseconds before the hour -- That doesn't leave any time to solve the problem.

I'm not asking now that we solve the problem, right now -- I'm asking that we notice the problem, contemplate it. Let in the significance.

What I Believe Is Not Important

The world as it is may be difficult and challenging, but what interests me is the future. However when you think about it, it's a weird position to take since I'm not really going to be part of it. It's a future for others, our children and theirs, not for me.

So I ask myself, what's the big deal in getting all excited about a future I'm not really going to be a part of, since I don't count another 40 or so years (at best) as anything significant.

And truthfully, is this future something I want to invest my time and energy in. If it is, I ask myself, given my talents and experience what's the most productive way to do so. A way that is going to deliver the biggest bang for the buck, or the highest level of meaning and satisfaction.

One of the insights I've had is that it's not worth investing in a present or current world view which holds that there's something dreadfully wrong with the way things are. It's easier to work with the world (and myself and others) if I accept that it's evolving, which means messy, and will always be facing unique difficulties and challenges.

However are we, as so many seem to be saying, living in a dramatic time facing unique challenges including probable systemic collapse? 

Is there something really urgent and important about now?

I don't believe the answer is nearly as important as how we get to the answer, because it's in getting to the answer that best helps understanding how to participate [or not] once we've gotten there.

But, I believe there is something unique and urgent about now, something we've never know or dealt with before. A collision of drivers, changes at various levels, and consequence.

But what I believe is not important. What I believe is important is whether I can do a decent job of describing to you what I see, in a way that will empower you to be more comfortable in making that decision for yourself.

This is my mission ...

Altitude and Objectivity

Standing in the midst of a crowd all one sees are the surrounding people. Climb up a few steps and you begin to see the group. And climbing a few more you see the totality of the crowd.

However, dare to climb a few more and with that altitude comes the ability to see the clustered groups and flows of people, moving to the restrooms, the canteens, the exists and entrances.

With psychological altitude not only do we get to see a bigger crowd, we also get to see the systems within the crowd. And then it shifts from being a crowd to a living organism, alive with parts and systems.

Psychological objectivity is not altitude and altitude is not objectivity, and methods for developing either are not the same.

How Do We Judge ...

 ... one choice, act, pattern of behaviour or system to be better than another?

Although things or thoughts may have there uses, more maturity is always more useful [better] then less.

More non-violence is always more useful than less. More knowledge [wisdom] is always more useful than less. More skill is always more useful than less. More care is always more useful than less ... etc.

There appears to be a directionality to psychological and cultural development, and that directionality appears to be from simpler to more complex. Just as biological evolution appears to be from small less complex organisms to greater more complex ones. 

And greater complexity appears to have a greater capacity for interior consciousness and awareness. I.e. the human brain is the most complex 'thing' we have discovered in the universe, and appears to hold the greatest capacity for consciousness.

So the answer to my question would be, a thought, act, pattern of behaviour or system holding more maturity would be better than one holding less.

On the surface and at first glance it may be impossible to discern whether an act holds more or less maturity, because the acts themselves could be identical. It's not so much the answer, but rather the mechanism of getting to, and the skill of expressing the answer that's important.

And that's why I love the question ... Why?

Ridicule Is Usually Reserved For Those Who Try

At home we have an Indonesian helper, Yulia. She helps with the girls, keeps our home in order and most importantly cooks the food. Now Yulia loves spicy food, as do I, but for sometime I haven't had the opportunity to eat spicy food, which means I'm at spicy gym.

It happens on occasion that Yulia gets a little over-enthusiastic, and my poor palette just can't cope. She rolls about laughing as she sees me huffing and puffing, turning all shades of red with beads of perspiration forming on my face.

My wife and family won't touch the 'hot stuff', but love to participate in the merriment.

Isn't it funny how our ridicule is most often pointed not at those who won't do anything, but rather at those who try, and by comparison fail.

There's Something Only You Can Do ...

I have a passion ... and I would like to share why I feel my passion is so important.

If our car needs servicing we take it to a mechanic. If we're sick we take ourselves to the doctor and they prescribe medication. If our TV packs up we buy another.

But what happens when our thinking, mindset and beliefs no longer serve us, is unable to cope with the complexity or just downright keeps us stuck.

What do we do then. Take out psyche to the mechanic?

What makes our mind different from anything else, is that only we can work to improve, fix and transform it. Others can help, show, teach or coach us, but no one else can do it for us.

Would you take your car to a mechanic who knows nothing about mechanics? Would you take you child to a doctor who knows nothing about medicine and physiology? ... Of course not.

In order to improve our lot, improve the world, which in most cases amounts to exactly the same thing, we need to 'heal' and 'upgrade' our mind [think software upgrade; iOS6], if you know what I mean. But to do that we need to know how it works, the mechanics of our psyche.

No auto-updates I'm afraid.

The more we know, the more empowered we become, and the better we understand and relate to others. The more we know the more effective and caring we become as a parent, boss, co-worker, leader, citizen and partner.

Although sharing words of wisdom has a value ... The real value lies in knowing how to work intelligently, effectively and compassionately with the hidden driver of all we are. Our very own psyche.

Achieving A Sense Of Balance and Relief

In yesterdays post I suggested replacing the idea of 'right and wrong' with the concept of 'more or less useful', and the post received two categories of feedback. Thanks for both :)

• There was a testimonial which was left as a comment, which I would like to share
• There was a suggestion which I'd like to follow up on

Let's do the suggestion first

"The blog I just read was interesting but my mind was looking for an example to illustrate how more or less useful might be applied".

Your boss says, 'that's the wrong way to speak to a prospect, you need to do it the way you were trained'. In your mind simply rephrase to sound thus. 'The way you spoke to that prospect was less useful than speaking to a prospect in the way you were trained'.

Why?

You observe your partner setting the auto-tune function on the new TV, and you see that it's going nowhere and you want to say, 'hey, you're doing it wrong, let me show you'. Instead you say 'hey, there's another helpful [useful] way to do that, are you interested?'

Why is your way more useful? What's really going on? Maybe your partner is having fun playing, and the point for now is not tuning the TV at all, but rather playing with the TV.

Something can be more useful in one context and less in another. Possibly several ways can be just as useful and you need to either choose or synthesise. Something that was useful yesterday, may not be as useful today.

Right and wrong tends to be rigid and polarising , whereas more and less useful, fluid and empowering.

The testimonial

How fortunate I was when I met you Paul. How pleased I am that I embraced these changes in my life. It was a huge relief to me and my sense of balance, when I stopped looking at everything in terms of right and wrong.

It helped me to be kinder to myself and then it helped me to me more compassionate and understanding toward other people. I did go through a period of confusion for a while after I started to be aware of how I was mentally labelling everything right or wrong and then once I understood how much more helpful it was to me to ask myself 'is it helpful or unhelpful?'.

I have freed myself up to stop judging not only others but also myself and given myself permission to understand why I do what I do instead of playing judge and usually jury as well.

Useful Is Of More Use than Right.

There's an experiment I would ask you to try, a game I would ask that you play:

For two weeks toss the words 'right' and 'wrong' from your thinking and vocabulary, and instead use the words ... 'more useful' and 'less useful'.

It's not that's it's right or wrong to use the words 'right' and 'wrong', it's just that it's of more use to frame things through the lens of 'more useful' and 'less useful'.

Regardless of the justifications which may arise causing you to question the inherent intelligence of this, the benefits of doing so will become clearly apparent once you have cultivated the habit.

Oh, and while you're at it, when listening to others, mentally do the same to the words they use.

Is My Discomfort Your Problem To Solve?

In a world of such difference of opinion, is it more useful to teach the skills of fitting in and of forming well rounded pleasant personalities, or of teaching the ability to both encourage and manage divergence?

We’re trapped. On the one hand we want to fit in and on the other we want to discover and be our own person. But as soon as we try, and it’s always going to be a little messy trying something new, someone takes exception to something we’ve said or done.

And the responsibility for their discomfort soon comes to rest on us.

What if instead of being taught that to make others feel uncomfortable was bad, we were taught that those who could not transform their own inner tension where the ones who were lacking.

We assume the result would be conflict (more than we have?), and it may. But how many of us know how to transform the feeling that arises when someone we don’t much care for says or does something we care even less for.

Is The World A Psychotic Self-destructive Mess, Or Filled With Wonder And Potential

Or anywhere between those two extremes.

Yes, it’s both a mess and filled with wonder and potential.

But there are two very distinct things at play. One is our experience of the world which is governed by our mindset or state of consciousness and the other, the reality of the world as it is.

Our mindset when contracted feels pain, a sense of dread, something, missing or something wrong, to the extent of the depth of the contraction. And because mindset’s so close and most of us so disconnected from or lost in what we feel, it becomes impossible to distinguish what we’re feeling from what we think the world feels like, and therefore is.

When we’re experiencing an expansive mindset, we feel joy, anticipation and a deep sense of interest in and connection with the world. And again it’s almost impossible to distinguish this inner experience from the outer reality.

We project how to feel onto a world that is neither and both.

The world itself has huge challenges, and in my opinion its share of psychotic self-destructive systems and tendencies, and it’s filled with both wonder and potential. Some of us have more experience with one than the other, but that does not mean both do not exist.

We face two challenges. The first is getting the hell out of the contracted mindset, which is also called the narcissist, ‘spiritual’ ego, scarcity and the victim, and the reason is because it’s almost impossible to engage meaningfully from there. And that has its difficulties.

The second is twofold.

1. Intentionally developing the expansive mindset and training ourselves to hold it even when things get tough, which although may sound demanding is not as challenging as the second. 
2. Developing the capacities and intelligence to look truthfully into the ‘way of the world’ and understand what’s really not working and why. And then to either fix or replace what needs fixing or replacing, based on our particular strengths, talents and skills.

But we need to be clear on our understanding and we need to free from anger, rage, anxiety and naivety, cos if we’re not, we just end up building them right back in again.

The tendency is for those in pain to quickly identify what they think is wrong, and for those in joy to simply not look. And here’s the paradox …

Those in pain and suffering make terrible investigators, but they’re the first to look, and those in joy, who would make better investigators, don’t care to look.

The truth is we need to inhabit an expansive mindset, but we also need to develop serenity, equanimity, maturity, skillful means and intelligence. Lost in either suffering or naive joy, although one may be more pleasant than the other, is still lost.