In a world of such difference of opinion, is it more useful to teach the skills of fitting in and of forming well rounded pleasant personalities, or of teaching the ability to both encourage and manage divergence?
We’re trapped. On the one hand we want to fit in and on the other we want to discover and be our own person. But as soon as we try, and it’s always going to be a little messy trying something new, someone takes exception to something we’ve said or done.
And the responsibility for their discomfort soon comes to rest on us.
What if instead of being taught that to make others feel uncomfortable was bad, we were taught that those who could not transform their own inner tension where the ones who were lacking.
We assume the result would be conflict (more than we have?), and it may. But how many of us know how to transform the feeling that arises when someone we don’t much care for says or does something we care even less for.
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