This is a question I received the other day and my response - thought you may find it useful
"I want to start my own business [private practice] and though I know what I need to do it, I still procrastinate and put it off until another day.
This is something that I want, but at the same time I think I'm also scared to take that next step."My Answer:
And so you should be. The probability of success is awful. But it is possible to swing the odds if you move forward knowledgeably, skilfully and with clarity of vision.
So what if you replaced the word scared or afraid to start you own business with uncomfortable, because that's really how it feels. So you say, ‘I am uncomfortable taking that step and starting my own business’.
So what if you replaced the word scared or afraid to start you own business with uncomfortable, because that's really how it feels. So you say, ‘I am uncomfortable taking that step and starting my own business’.
This means you would only get around to starting you own business when you get to experience more discomfort with where you’re at, than the discomfort you feel in anticipating starting. And there's no problem in this, except ...
... it takes time to plan, start and develop a business. What usually happens, is by the time you're uncomfortable enough things already pretty toxic and you need to get the hell out of Dodge, quickly.
But you can't start (a successful) business quickly.
So here's is the trick
And the good thing is you're not deceiving yourself. You are already uncomfortable but you're not letting yourself acknowledge it and the discomfort of starting your own business is exaggerated many times over because everything is lumped together, all mixed up, and feeding your natural psychological resistance.
Another Silver Bullet Formula
Desire - resistance = success
Resistance
Some uncomfortable news
99% of small businesses either fail, or fail to thrive - that's uncomfortable news.
But you can't start (a successful) business quickly.
In other words, when life becomes so uncomfortable that you have to move, you need to move quickly, but a business with any reasonable probability of success, can’t be planned and started quickly.
There may be months, even years of preparatory work, that should and needs to be done, if you want to swing the odds in your favour.
So here's is the trick
- Write down what actually makes you uncomfortable about starting. I'll bet once you clearly defined the points, they will be easy enough to solve, although it may take time - this lowers the level of anticipated discomfort.
- Begin envisioning and aligning with the total benefits of starting your own business - this heightens desire
- Begin to noticing the discomfort you are already in - this heightens your level of current discomfort.
And the good thing is you're not deceiving yourself. You are already uncomfortable but you're not letting yourself acknowledge it and the discomfort of starting your own business is exaggerated many times over because everything is lumped together, all mixed up, and feeding your natural psychological resistance.
Another Silver Bullet Formula
Desire - resistance = success
Resistance
Resistance is a natural unconscious psychological response to ‘the unknown’ and future anticipated discomfort, but unconscious does not mean helpful. The price you pay for resisting change, ideas, beliefs and circumstances is dramatically escalating levels of stress, tension, anxiety, depression, aggression and overwhelm.
And it’s this that ultimately ‘forces’ you to move on, or makes your steps so tentative as to have already determined your business’s failure..
Some uncomfortable news
99% of small businesses either fail, or fail to thrive - that's uncomfortable news.
Why? Because the business owners ignore the fundamentals and start without adequate preparation and understanding, which they do because they believe either their talents or business skills alone are enough, or they have simply have no other choice.
And 1 in a 100 attempts, which I feel is a very conservative number, fail and they inadvertently end up making their lives a living hell.
You can swing the odds, but you need to start, way before you start ... if you get my meaning.
And 1 in a 100 attempts, which I feel is a very conservative number, fail and they inadvertently end up making their lives a living hell.
You can swing the odds, but you need to start, way before you start ... if you get my meaning.
I totally agree with all of these, especially with “Desire - resistance = success.” This pretty much sums up the ordeal in putting up a thriving business. It is good to find people who will be willing to mentor you and answer questions regarding tons of subjects on business. Finding experienced people who care enough to lend you a hand is always a gold nugget.
ReplyDelete- Adina Mauch
Hey Adina, thx for the feedback. This is an article I wrote sometime ago so I had to re-read it a few times to get on the same page again. I guess I would really ask, what makes desire, or what did I mean by desire in this context?
DeleteI think what I was pointing to was a real commitment, calling or purpose. Something that would enable attention and resilience and motivate ongoing learning, personal growth and skills development. But this of course does not need to happen first. Many of us develop unique and valuable skills first and then become passionate about what we do, because we get good at doing it.
Ultimately I believe the diver is identity and purpose, which most often is not something that just happens but is rather intentionally constructed from within the circumstances and constraints of our lives.
By the way, what do you do Adina?
Hugs, Paul
I think “discomfort” is definitely a very interesting way to put it. I think of it as trepidation and hesitation due to fear of the unknown. A lot of people pass on starting up their own businesses because of the fact that success is not guaranteed. They don't want to risk all the time, money and effort only for it to go nowhere. I think there should be a sufficient amount of fear and reluctance there to push you to do everything you can to not screw up. It should also be countered with enough confidence in one's skills and limitations to come up with a plan for success. Businesses don't usually become successful overnight anyway, so there should be a constant reminder of what you want the business to be, and what you don't want to it to become.
ReplyDelete- Tammie T. -
Hey Tammie, first thx for engaging. This makes for an interesting conversation. This is how I see it: Fear provides motive, but restricts innovation, clarity, connection and pretty much everything else an entrepreneurs needs. But if one dissolves fear, one also dissolves the motive. This is part of the personal growth challenge. Dissolving fear and replacing it with a another / better motive to get shit done.
DeleteWithout having done that work, there is no choice but to rely on fear as the motive (driver for action), and fear although motivating is contracted, isolated and although may get one to a point, is ultimately destructive. My overall comment would be that no matter how it's framed, fear is never, ever a good motive to do things. It has a logic all of it's own... and logic is expressed through strategy, and logic and strategy always seek to assert the assumption from which they emerged. Thus if I fear failure, it may provide motive, but the core assumption is failure. And logic (and strategy) then works to assert that assumption.
A little subtle I acknowledge, but what we don't know about affects us just as much as what we do know about. That is, not knowing about something does not protect us from the consequences of not knowing.
Motive is the engine that drives participation, and at it most fundamental level it''s either fear or joy / curiosity (or whatever other names one might give for the energetic feeling of contraction or expansion).
Fear is easier initially, but has serious constraints and is ultimately self-destructive. Curiosity and vision one the other hand is more difficult initially, but has longer legs, but requires greater personal mastery and intention.
Hugs