Why Does My Success Seem Always Just One Step Ahead?

Imagine living inside a whisper, a whisper neither audible nor comprehensible, a whisper of neither words nor thoughts, but a feeling.

Impossible to locate or eradicate, endlessly repeating the mantra, 'there's something wrong, there's something dreadfully wrong, there something missing, you need to fix what's wrong, you need to find what's missing ... then and only then will you experience the success, happiness and meaning you desire.'

And no matter what success you achieve, how much personal growth you do or how much you party, congregate or bathe in luxury, the whisper only grows becoming a roar, which although you still can't hear (because it’s a feeling and not a thought or word) soon comes to dominate your mental landscape.

There's something dreadfully wrong, there's something missing ... It’s an itch you can not seem to scratch.

Every success inevitably translates to failure, every relationship inevitably experienced as lack.

Feeding it makes it hungrier, ignoring it makes it louder. Discipline quietens it, but when austerity ends which it must, it emerges louder and stronger than ever.

There’s something wrong with me, the world, my partner, friends and family. There’s something missing, I need to discover what’s missing. Like a spotlight it shines its perception of lack and wrong on all it sees, driving your anxiety filled participation.

In truth nothing is missing, nothing is wrong, it’s simply the projection of a feeling, the interpretation of an unseen mindset assumption, that whispers ...

But this does not mean there is no work to do.