Some Days, Life Just Sucks (Handling Transformation)

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I have a friend who right now, is going through a very difficult time. This is an open letter to her, and the reason I'm doing this, is because, if you're on a path of personal transformation, you will face exactly the same thing at some point in your journey.

Hiya Jane
(obviously I have not used her real name)

I know right now life stings like hell, and you feel overwhelmed and almost helpless in the face of all that’s happening. But probably, what hurts more than that, is the knowledge that it's going to get a lot worse, before it starts getting any better.

So let's begin with what you do know, and is pretty obvious. 

• Your life right now, is painful 
• There is without doubt, a major shift on the horizon 
• It's almost guaranteed to get a lot worse before it starts getting any better - and even then, you're not sure if it will ever get any better 
• You wanted change in your life, because there are definitely a few things that aren't working for you. 
• But, this change does not seem to be heading anywhere remotely in the direction you want it to go 
• You feel powerless to control this shift and direct it's unfolding. 
• You feel very temped to just be happy with what you had, and get things back to normal, even though you were unhappy with the way things where - (Yes, I wanted change, but I did not want to pay this price) 

There are a few other things that are pretty obvious, even though you may feel tempted to ignore them.

• Life is in a continual state of flux and change 
• You can't control life, or change at either the macro or micro level - you have a certain degree of influence and that's about it. 
• It is impossible to get things back to where they were - life does not do, backwards. 
• And even if you could, you would within a few months, find yourself unhappy, frustrated, angry, depressed and resentful ... again. 

Right now, you have a philosophical decision to make.

• Is all change for the highest good, always? 
• Is change random, arbitrary, chaotic, and without direction and purpose? 

I know you may be tempted to ask, 'which one is true?' And my answer is, 'who the hell knows these things'.

But, take a moment to inhabit both perspectives, feel into them fully, and then carefully contemplate the consequences of both, and if possible transcend them both.


You don't have control, but you do have influence.

So how can you use and develop the influence you do have, intelligently and skilfully.

Are you going to be in a better position, to influence the change, if you're...

• Contracted, closed, hard, angry, fearful, self-absorbed, resisting, fighting, struggling and a victim. 
• Open, soft, aware, attentive, responsive, confident, empowered and consistently (through all circumstances and at all times) aware of, and prepared to act on, 'coincidences' aligned with your life's vision and purpose. 

This is your time to test life and yourself, to test and develop the creative power and influence you have. This is the time to investigate and verify the validity of the new and intentionally constructed assumptive base you've developed.


My advice

Take time everyday to feel into the future you desire, the one in which you...

• Have a successful thriving business, doing what you love, are good at, and where you are acknowledged for the incredible value you are so capable of creating. 
• Are surrounded and immersed in caring, healthy and valued filled relationships. 
• Are experiencing material and spiritual wealth and prosperity. 

Become certain of this, feel into it fully and stay there, and respond from there, no matter what.

And, then let’s consider what you would give up in order to achieve that.

• Your self-indulgence? 
• Your doubt and skepticism? 
• Those dysfunctional and ultimately destructive relationships? 
• The idea you have of 'you', and your life as you know it? 

There is no way, anyone can guarantee, definite outcomes.

But the experience of every single person who has become clear on, and developed their desire to live a meaningful, purposeful and successful life, and has intentionally worked to minimise their resistance, and allowed life the latitude to do it's thing, which it's doing anyway. Is that they do come to realise, manifest or experience, in a way that they could not possibly have predicted, the very life they had intuitively envisioned.


Let's get clear

What you looking for is an experience of life. What it would feel to be successful, purpose filled, meaning filled, confident, wealthy, acknowledged, loved and valued.

Not, the specifics.

Let life fill in the details. However, you don't need to wait for the details in order to have that experience of life – although, as you begin to manifest your vision, you will certainly gain a growing depth in what it means to feel those feelings.

We become aware of our real transformation, with what feels like a radically impersonal (life does not care about me and my problems) and destructive process – in other words, when our life implodes.

And this is when we need to stay light, playful and intensely focussed on

• what it is that we actually want 
• the price where prepared to pay for it. 

Doubt

The major buzz killer of all time.

There is no surer way of harpooning your vision of the future, than by giving into, and acting from doubt.

My opinion is, it's better to make a monumental and colossal *%^$-up, than let doubt motivate your behaviour - lol, and I made a few of those in my life.


Welcome to Transformation 101