Transformation: Transform - TRANSITION - Embody
Unlike the transform stage, which is all about learning, contemplating, questioning, investigating, of dissolving and dismantling old mindset assumptions, beliefs and behaviour, and then of carefully, deliberately and intentionally developing new, better more functional ones to replace them (the unseen inner work).
The transition stage is all about a radical shift in your external reality - relationships, work and environment.
It's disorientating, unpredictable and uncontrollable
I've heard many talk about of it as a 'whirlwind time', but tornado would probably be a more accurate.
And no matter how much,
- you're suffering
- you desire a new vision and reality for your life, relationships and work
- inner transformational work you've done
- you think you're ready for it
... when it starts, we struggle and fight against it.
And we do this because,
- we don't trust the process (and why should we?)
- it does not feel or look like anything we've mentally anticipated
- it never seems to be unfolding in the direction we think it should be
- we haven't carefully considered the price we're willing to pay (for transformation)
Let me put it this way. Evolution and transformation are not bound by our culturally developed aesthetic sensibilities, refined moral behaviour or polite manners. Stuff is impersonally and unambiguously reorganised, in order to bring about a new external reality more closely aligned with the inner.
Life unapologetically brings about the end of some things, and the beginning of others. Without consciously having gone through the process before, and without experienced training and support, we more often than not, experience it as deeply traumatic.
Once we've consciously participated in the transformation process a few times, we get to be much more familiar and skilful in relaxing into and influencing it. But, we do need to go through it a couple of time before this happens.
The first time is ... interesting.
If you want change, if you have an empowered vision for your life, and have already worked to transform your mindset, your life will transform. But I'll guarantee that it will not resemble anything you could possibly have predicted.
That's why we call it 'the creative process'.
The trick with this stage is to know when to get involved (work to influence the process) and when to stand back and let it unfold. I'd suggest, especially the first few times, that the bulk of your efforts be directed toward staying present, open, relaxed and responsive, and working to transform the temptation to be prescriptive.
It's difficult to see, especially when you’re in the middle of the process, where it's going and how events are ultimately going to turn out, especially if the process includes, which in almost every case it does, loss. We're normally way too emotionally and psychologically involved, to make aligned decisions.
When your house burns (metaphorically speaking), calmly get up, pick up what you can on the way out and let it burn. I guarantee old stuff will be replaced with new, more appropriate stuff and toxic relationships by healthier ones.
If you want the benefits of transformation, you've got to be prepared to pay the price. If your tentative about this, then when the process starts, and it will, you're going to find yourself adrift and looking back with longing, at what just a short while before you experienced as so painful, meaningless and unfulfilling.
Remember, I'm not talking about change, I talking about transformation. The symbol of transformations being the Phoenix, plugging into the temple fires and emerging transformed.
We're talking about a worm, taking up residence in a cocoon and emerging as a friggin butterfly. This is hectic stuff; this is the transition stage of the transformation process.
The Matrix: Hold onto your hat Dorothy, because Kansas is going bye-bye.
So the question is. How do you keep your sanity and skilfully participate during this stage, which, although dramatic and intense, does not necessarily have to last that long?
It's time to remember - What it is you want and the price you're prepared to pay.
My suggestion - Be prepared to lose everything. This is unlikely to happen, but unless you are completely prepared to, you will resist, and to the extent you resist, you will
- psychologically contract and induce suffering (stress, anxiety, fatigue, depression, frustration ...etc, are all physical symptoms of suffering)
- prolong your suffering, and draw out the transition stage
- inhibit the full realisation of your vision
- end up becoming a victim of your very own process of transformation
You need an intelligent and coherent philosophical platform
You don't need believe in anything in particular, but you do need to have developed a profound trust in the process, however you philosophically frame it. So whatever theoretical platform you need to develop, make sure it's in place, and you've embodied it as fully as possible, during the transform stage. Because, you're going to need it through the transition stage.
Remember and feel into your vision (of the future), constantly
Don't forget you vision. It's easy to get lost during this stage. We get so caught up in the moment-to-moment drama of our lives, that we forget our goals and aspirations, we forget our vision for the future. We forget the big picture. We even forget how painful and unhappy we were, and how much we longed for change, before it all started.
Develop a robust support base
Friends and family are fantastic, but unless they understand and are skilled at guiding you through the process of transformation, especially the transition stage, they are going to give you rotten advice. In the long run, this will either derail and/or stunt, what could have been a powerfully liberating experience.
Make sure that you have resources available to mentor and guide you through the process.
Meditate everyday
Stillness or formless meditation is always a relevant practice, but it becomes invaluable during the transition stage when your external reality is changing so fast and unpredictably. You don't need to know how to meditate, you just need to sit down, close your eyes and work out what it means to be physically and psychologically still.
I would recommend
- establishing a practice before your life implodes
- sitting for a minimum of a 25-minute session twice per day. The benefits far out way the 50-minute time investment you've made.
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