Paradox

Although we as people are equal the quality of our ideas and actions are not. Some ideas, philosophies and patterns of behaviour have more depth, compassion or intelligence than others.

This means that although we as people are equal, we are not.

Nine mindset insights

At the heart of our psyche lies three core mindsets.

The 'contracted' mindset
The 'deeply at peace' mindset
The 'expansive' mindset

We can shift very quickly between mindsets, but only one at a time.

The inner dialogue of each [as a feeling and not as a cognitive argument] runs something like this.

Contracted: There is something wrong [missing] and I'll participate, but only to the extent I have to in order to fix what is wrong or find what is missing. Then everything will be good.

Deeply at peace: I am free and there is nothing wrong. There is no particular need to participate [do anything] because life will find it's own way.

Expansive: I'm deeply at peace and there's nothing wrong, but I'm bored and would like to do something which I enjoy, am good at, and others find useful.

Feeling threatened physically or psychologically induces a contraction. When that fades we relax until we get bored, something else happens to threaten us, or something intrigues us.

Mindset is a core motive, driver or reason for participation. Relax the mindset and you also relax the motive [reason] to do anything.

It takes a high level of intention and skill to hold the expansive mindset, especially when we feel threatened.

Mindset is a feeling or a state of consciousness.

Each mindset goes about doing things in very different ways, using developed justifications, and creating different results. The results inevitably support the original assumption or motive.

Contracting when facing difficult or demanding situations is easier than either relaxing or expanding, but the results are worse.

There's a time

To a point we can learn the skills of doing more with less. To a point we are able to develop our capacities and efficiencies. [This applies equally to individuals and organisations, big and small]

     But only to a point.

After we have reached that point, and life, relationships and work continue on their inevitable path of escalating complexity, everything begins to hurt just that much more.

     And that escalates, exponentially.

This leaves us pushing back at everything we perceive to be not directly relevant, overwhelmed and frustrated or compelled to dismiss or ignore large chunks or areas of [our] life.

     And that hurts all the more.

What is required is 'the next level'. The next level of thinking and understanding. It's a new operating system complete with vocabulary, logic, patterns of behaviour and systems.

     And right there lies the problem.

The new level thinks in a new way, has a new more coherent identity, speaks and does differently, cherishes different values, builds different systems and gets different results.

There is a time for learning how to do more with less and there's an opportune time for an operating system upgrade. And of the two the level change is more subtle and traumatic, that is until you've intentionally done it a few times.

If you're done with building capacities and feel every inch you gain costs more in energy, it may just be that ...

     you're due for an operating system upgrade

Let's do the math

If global population growth is 1.3% per annum, this means the size of the global population doubles every (70 divided by 1.3) 53 years. That's called the doubling time. That mean 6 billion people on planet earth in year 2000 becomes 12 billion people in year 2053.

That means cities like Hong Kong, New York, London ... etc. will double in size, which means twice the food, resources, consumption, power, garbage, and transport in 53 years. -- It means more than double the complexity.

It mean that for every 1 power station now, there needs to be 2 by then.

This also means that what took us hundreds if not thousands of years to psychologically and physiologically adapt to, we have to do in just 53 years.

Exponential growth changes everything and we're just not noticing it.

The guys planning the roads are not seeing it. The politicians are definitely not seeing it. We're waiting for others to say, hey! there's a monumental challenge storming toward us.

But they're just not seeing it.

And we can't understand a problem or challenge we can't see, and we most certainly can't solve a problem we can't understand.

Exponential growth is accelerating toward us

One of the keys to understanding why now is different to any time in the past, lies in grasping the significance of exponential growth.

Imagine filling a swimming pool with water with a dropper, yet every new drop doubled in size compared the last one. And let's say it took an hour to fill the pool dropping one drop [doubling in size] every second.

At what time would the pool be half full ...?

At one second before the hour.

At what time would the pool be 1/4 full ...?

At two seconds before the hour.

And lets say we discover another 3 swimming pools as receptacles for more water. That's 300% more space than we ever had before. That's huge. How long would it take to fill those extra three pools ...?

Another two seconds.

It took one hour (360 drops) to fill one pool, but two seconds (2 drops) to fill the next 3 pools.

Our growth, consumption, production, debt are all measured and tied to exponential growth. And the simple fact is that exponential growth is unsustainable, it simply can't continue. No how, no way. And when we look around and say but there's still a half left of the total amount of whatever we've consumed or produced in the past ...

... it's one second before the hour. 

And even if we make incredible discoveries, it gives us a few more seconds -- seriously, is that the plan.

We are not in the early stages of exponential growth, we are in the later stages. The world is getting more complex exponentially. We are consuming non-renewable resources exponentially. We are affecting global warming and climate change exponentially. We are creating debt exponentially.

... and we believe

When we notice the problem we'll figure out a way to solve it ... and we will if we wish to survive, 

... however, we're not noticing the problem.

If we rely on conventional wisdom we'll only notice the problem milliseconds before the hour -- That doesn't leave any time to solve the problem.

I'm not asking now that we solve the problem, right now -- I'm asking that we notice the problem, contemplate it. Let in the significance.

What I Believe Is Not Important

The world as it is may be difficult and challenging, but what interests me is the future. However when you think about it, it's a weird position to take since I'm not really going to be part of it. It's a future for others, our children and theirs, not for me.

So I ask myself, what's the big deal in getting all excited about a future I'm not really going to be a part of, since I don't count another 40 or so years (at best) as anything significant.

And truthfully, is this future something I want to invest my time and energy in. If it is, I ask myself, given my talents and experience what's the most productive way to do so. A way that is going to deliver the biggest bang for the buck, or the highest level of meaning and satisfaction.

One of the insights I've had is that it's not worth investing in a present or current world view which holds that there's something dreadfully wrong with the way things are. It's easier to work with the world (and myself and others) if I accept that it's evolving, which means messy, and will always be facing unique difficulties and challenges.

However are we, as so many seem to be saying, living in a dramatic time facing unique challenges including probable systemic collapse? 

Is there something really urgent and important about now?

I don't believe the answer is nearly as important as how we get to the answer, because it's in getting to the answer that best helps understanding how to participate [or not] once we've gotten there.

But, I believe there is something unique and urgent about now, something we've never know or dealt with before. A collision of drivers, changes at various levels, and consequence.

But what I believe is not important. What I believe is important is whether I can do a decent job of describing to you what I see, in a way that will empower you to be more comfortable in making that decision for yourself.

This is my mission ...

Altitude and Objectivity

Standing in the midst of a crowd all one sees are the surrounding people. Climb up a few steps and you begin to see the group. And climbing a few more you see the totality of the crowd.

However, dare to climb a few more and with that altitude comes the ability to see the clustered groups and flows of people, moving to the restrooms, the canteens, the exists and entrances.

With psychological altitude not only do we get to see a bigger crowd, we also get to see the systems within the crowd. And then it shifts from being a crowd to a living organism, alive with parts and systems.

Psychological objectivity is not altitude and altitude is not objectivity, and methods for developing either are not the same.

How Do We Judge ...

 ... one choice, act, pattern of behaviour or system to be better than another?

Although things or thoughts may have there uses, more maturity is always more useful [better] then less.

More non-violence is always more useful than less. More knowledge [wisdom] is always more useful than less. More skill is always more useful than less. More care is always more useful than less ... etc.

There appears to be a directionality to psychological and cultural development, and that directionality appears to be from simpler to more complex. Just as biological evolution appears to be from small less complex organisms to greater more complex ones. 

And greater complexity appears to have a greater capacity for interior consciousness and awareness. I.e. the human brain is the most complex 'thing' we have discovered in the universe, and appears to hold the greatest capacity for consciousness.

So the answer to my question would be, a thought, act, pattern of behaviour or system holding more maturity would be better than one holding less.

On the surface and at first glance it may be impossible to discern whether an act holds more or less maturity, because the acts themselves could be identical. It's not so much the answer, but rather the mechanism of getting to, and the skill of expressing the answer that's important.

And that's why I love the question ... Why?

Ridicule Is Usually Reserved For Those Who Try

At home we have an Indonesian helper, Yulia. She helps with the girls, keeps our home in order and most importantly cooks the food. Now Yulia loves spicy food, as do I, but for sometime I haven't had the opportunity to eat spicy food, which means I'm at spicy gym.

It happens on occasion that Yulia gets a little over-enthusiastic, and my poor palette just can't cope. She rolls about laughing as she sees me huffing and puffing, turning all shades of red with beads of perspiration forming on my face.

My wife and family won't touch the 'hot stuff', but love to participate in the merriment.

Isn't it funny how our ridicule is most often pointed not at those who won't do anything, but rather at those who try, and by comparison fail.

There's Something Only You Can Do ...

I have a passion ... and I would like to share why I feel my passion is so important.

If our car needs servicing we take it to a mechanic. If we're sick we take ourselves to the doctor and they prescribe medication. If our TV packs up we buy another.

But what happens when our thinking, mindset and beliefs no longer serve us, is unable to cope with the complexity or just downright keeps us stuck.

What do we do then. Take out psyche to the mechanic?

What makes our mind different from anything else, is that only we can work to improve, fix and transform it. Others can help, show, teach or coach us, but no one else can do it for us.

Would you take your car to a mechanic who knows nothing about mechanics? Would you take you child to a doctor who knows nothing about medicine and physiology? ... Of course not.

In order to improve our lot, improve the world, which in most cases amounts to exactly the same thing, we need to 'heal' and 'upgrade' our mind [think software upgrade; iOS6], if you know what I mean. But to do that we need to know how it works, the mechanics of our psyche.

No auto-updates I'm afraid.

The more we know, the more empowered we become, and the better we understand and relate to others. The more we know the more effective and caring we become as a parent, boss, co-worker, leader, citizen and partner.

Although sharing words of wisdom has a value ... The real value lies in knowing how to work intelligently, effectively and compassionately with the hidden driver of all we are. Our very own psyche.

Achieving A Sense Of Balance and Relief

In yesterdays post I suggested replacing the idea of 'right and wrong' with the concept of 'more or less useful', and the post received two categories of feedback. Thanks for both :)

• There was a testimonial which was left as a comment, which I would like to share
• There was a suggestion which I'd like to follow up on

Let's do the suggestion first

"The blog I just read was interesting but my mind was looking for an example to illustrate how more or less useful might be applied".

Your boss says, 'that's the wrong way to speak to a prospect, you need to do it the way you were trained'. In your mind simply rephrase to sound thus. 'The way you spoke to that prospect was less useful than speaking to a prospect in the way you were trained'.

Why?

You observe your partner setting the auto-tune function on the new TV, and you see that it's going nowhere and you want to say, 'hey, you're doing it wrong, let me show you'. Instead you say 'hey, there's another helpful [useful] way to do that, are you interested?'

Why is your way more useful? What's really going on? Maybe your partner is having fun playing, and the point for now is not tuning the TV at all, but rather playing with the TV.

Something can be more useful in one context and less in another. Possibly several ways can be just as useful and you need to either choose or synthesise. Something that was useful yesterday, may not be as useful today.

Right and wrong tends to be rigid and polarising , whereas more and less useful, fluid and empowering.

The testimonial

How fortunate I was when I met you Paul. How pleased I am that I embraced these changes in my life. It was a huge relief to me and my sense of balance, when I stopped looking at everything in terms of right and wrong.

It helped me to be kinder to myself and then it helped me to me more compassionate and understanding toward other people. I did go through a period of confusion for a while after I started to be aware of how I was mentally labelling everything right or wrong and then once I understood how much more helpful it was to me to ask myself 'is it helpful or unhelpful?'.

I have freed myself up to stop judging not only others but also myself and given myself permission to understand why I do what I do instead of playing judge and usually jury as well.

Useful Is Of More Use than Right.

There's an experiment I would ask you to try, a game I would ask that you play:

For two weeks toss the words 'right' and 'wrong' from your thinking and vocabulary, and instead use the words ... 'more useful' and 'less useful'.

It's not that's it's right or wrong to use the words 'right' and 'wrong', it's just that it's of more use to frame things through the lens of 'more useful' and 'less useful'.

Regardless of the justifications which may arise causing you to question the inherent intelligence of this, the benefits of doing so will become clearly apparent once you have cultivated the habit.

Oh, and while you're at it, when listening to others, mentally do the same to the words they use.

Is My Discomfort Your Problem To Solve?

In a world of such difference of opinion, is it more useful to teach the skills of fitting in and of forming well rounded pleasant personalities, or of teaching the ability to both encourage and manage divergence?

We’re trapped. On the one hand we want to fit in and on the other we want to discover and be our own person. But as soon as we try, and it’s always going to be a little messy trying something new, someone takes exception to something we’ve said or done.

And the responsibility for their discomfort soon comes to rest on us.

What if instead of being taught that to make others feel uncomfortable was bad, we were taught that those who could not transform their own inner tension where the ones who were lacking.

We assume the result would be conflict (more than we have?), and it may. But how many of us know how to transform the feeling that arises when someone we don’t much care for says or does something we care even less for.

Is The World A Psychotic Self-destructive Mess, Or Filled With Wonder And Potential

Or anywhere between those two extremes.

Yes, it’s both a mess and filled with wonder and potential.

But there are two very distinct things at play. One is our experience of the world which is governed by our mindset or state of consciousness and the other, the reality of the world as it is.

Our mindset when contracted feels pain, a sense of dread, something, missing or something wrong, to the extent of the depth of the contraction. And because mindset’s so close and most of us so disconnected from or lost in what we feel, it becomes impossible to distinguish what we’re feeling from what we think the world feels like, and therefore is.

When we’re experiencing an expansive mindset, we feel joy, anticipation and a deep sense of interest in and connection with the world. And again it’s almost impossible to distinguish this inner experience from the outer reality.

We project how to feel onto a world that is neither and both.

The world itself has huge challenges, and in my opinion its share of psychotic self-destructive systems and tendencies, and it’s filled with both wonder and potential. Some of us have more experience with one than the other, but that does not mean both do not exist.

We face two challenges. The first is getting the hell out of the contracted mindset, which is also called the narcissist, ‘spiritual’ ego, scarcity and the victim, and the reason is because it’s almost impossible to engage meaningfully from there. And that has its difficulties.

The second is twofold.

1. Intentionally developing the expansive mindset and training ourselves to hold it even when things get tough, which although may sound demanding is not as challenging as the second. 
2. Developing the capacities and intelligence to look truthfully into the ‘way of the world’ and understand what’s really not working and why. And then to either fix or replace what needs fixing or replacing, based on our particular strengths, talents and skills.

But we need to be clear on our understanding and we need to free from anger, rage, anxiety and naivety, cos if we’re not, we just end up building them right back in again.

The tendency is for those in pain to quickly identify what they think is wrong, and for those in joy to simply not look. And here’s the paradox …

Those in pain and suffering make terrible investigators, but they’re the first to look, and those in joy, who would make better investigators, don’t care to look.

The truth is we need to inhabit an expansive mindset, but we also need to develop serenity, equanimity, maturity, skillful means and intelligence. Lost in either suffering or naive joy, although one may be more pleasant than the other, is still lost.

Are You Happy HERE?

You are HERE!

Are you happy here? Is here deeply fulfilling and meaningful? Is here where you want and chose to be? Is here successful?

Is the path that got you here, gonna get you there? Do you know where there is?

Are you lost?

We Are Evolving, It's Messy and Painful

What I believe we are experiencing right now, is, at the leading edge, the birth of a new level of consciousness. It is quite simply the birth of new emergent capacities in being and becoming, a rising, deepening and broadening of what it means to be human.

We have complex problems to solve and in order to solve them we are evolving new ways to think, new ways to behave and new ways to organise. In responding to what appears to be a world in crisis, we are adapting and we are changing.

What took evolution 10,000’s of years we are doing in decades and this is what it feels like, from within,

On the outside looking in it seems chaotic and on the inside looking out, miraculous.

The cup that is so full empties, making space for the new.

New ways of organising, require new ways of behaving. New ways of behaving require new ways of thinking. New ways of thinking require new ways of being.

Leadership, relationship, communication, business and governance, nothing is sacred, all will be transformed as the new emerges.

Is it guaranteed ... no.

Will it be painful ... yes.

And like all new life, it is precarious.

The World Will Never Know or Miss A Story Never Told

Here’s the thing about living in stories, which is what we do without knowing that that's what we do, and without intentionally having authored our own.

We end with our best role being the second fiddle character in the story of others.

Some stories we just don’t care about and they probably don’t have much impact on our lives. Some stories we can’t stand but since we can’t change them, we either accept or fall victim to them. Others we love, they empower, but only to a point, because they’re our own.

How many of us have taken the time to really understand, craft and embody our story, because it’s not possible to be a victim of the story we write.

It’s in discovering, knowing, living and embodying our story, that we are both empowered and liberated.

Saying NO, Doesn't Mean I Have To Say YES.

When it comes to shaping the societal world we live in, the two most important words in any language are YES and NO.

YES I give my consent and permission for this to happen, or NO I don’t, and of course saying nothing is exactly the same as saying, YES.

In the language of the Occupy Wall Street movement, the 99% are saying something and what we are saying is, NO.

I say ‘we’ because clearly I am not part of the 1%, which by default then makes me part of the 99%

We are saying NO to a pervasive culture of corporate greed, irresponsible governance and excessive governmental and federal influence. We are saying NO to governmental deregulation, which is the same as saying corporate self-regulation. We are saying NO to the legal concept that corporations have the same (if not more) legal rights than flesh and blood people.

We are saying NO to the way things are ...

So what is it exactly are we saying YES to?

We are saying YES, lets change the narrative, but we’re not quite sure of what to change it to since we’re in the process of working that out, and history can’t help. We are saying YES to a new type of creative dialogue and process of complex problem solving. We are saying YES to the idea that people are more important than profits, but and this is important, not that profits are bad.

Occupy Wall Street is a revolution in much the same way the 60’s where a revolution in consciousness. Will it succeed in creating a more humane, just and equitable social order?

It’s not the people in big business who are a problem, it’s the narrative of big business itself. The narrative is much like the narrative of Monopoly. ‘Carry on playing until no one’s left, but the winner, which of course means the game comes to an end’.

The narrative ends when there is nothing left ... nothing.

That’s where the story ends and #OWS is simply saying .... NO, it ends now, while we still have something of value.

The Gap

There is a gap and in this gap lies the 'lie we live'.

This gap is the distance between the values we strive to represent and the values our daily behaviour communicates.

But it stands to reason that if we're learning and growing there must be a gap, and we therefore liars.

Now if someone points out the gap, they have exposed the lie and who wants to be exposed as a liar.

But we must be liars if we are to grow, because only a rock can have zero gap between the values it strives to hold and the daily values it's behaviour communicates.

And I am a big fat liar since the values I strive to represent lie way ahead of the values my daily behaviour communicates, and the more I learn and grow the bigger the gap.

But because I have developed my capacity to become more interested in my growth than I am in protecting my image (as a non-liar), I give permission to those around me to point out the lies they see.

So please be gentle ...

And it's not comfortable and I am exposed, but I have made a choice and this choice demands I widen and embrace the gap.

Why We Need To Discern Good Information From Bad

How can we know the difference between good information that works and bad, that doesn't?

Good information empowers, bad enslaves, but with empowerment comes the need for evolving response-ability and mastery.

Good information although it's often initially more uncomfortable creates self-evident expansive shifts. Bad, although initially more pleasant or reassuring triggers a pathological contraction.

We experience expansion as happiness, connection, joy even ecstasy. We experience contraction as isolation, guilt, doubt and fear.

Bad information is addictive but passive. Good, interesting even intriguing, but difficult to sustain since it demands change.

Good information uses a methodology of scientific investigation with bad completely uninhibited by the need to verify the integrity of it's content.

As we embark on a path of developing personal identity and mastery for the purpose of enhancing performance, meaning and deep happiness, we need to become increasingly discerning of the information we digest.

Reinventing, Me

Let’s acknowledge and validate the classic midlife crisis. It’s cool, I’ve had 3, and I’m only 45.

Although we may picture a early 50’s balding guy with a paunchy gut, wobbly marriage, successful but completely uninspiring career, buying a porche and trolling for babe’s. This is a tragic depiction of what’s really going on.

Although admittedly, it’s traumatic even debilitating when experienced from the inside and denied as inappropriate from the outside. And let’s not kid ourselves, it not the exclusive domain of men any longer.

It’s a crisis of meaning, purpose and identity. It’s a time when the values that drove us to get where we are, are not the values that can possibly motivate us to get to where we need to be.

And although we may not be entirely sure of where that is, we are certain ... it’s not here.

A midlife crisis, if handled intelligently, compassionately and skillfully may be likened to a chiropractic adjustment, a realignment. It’s a time to consciously and intentionally reinvent and re-create ourselves aligned with a deeper more meaningful purpose and contribution.

It means it’s time to take the next step.

We’re going though a midlife crisis when life, relationships and work seems uninspiring, dull, grey and flat and in which you can’t see the meaning in what you do. It feels as if you are living someone else life, which in a way you are.

Let’s validate the midlife crisis as a profoundly intelligent psychological response to our need for a more compelling identity and future.

Strategy, Logistics, Outcomes

Strategy, the plan we make. Logistics, its execution.

Strategy, like choreography, a sequence of sets or combinations of moves.

Logistics, like martial arts, training, technique and tools.

The more sophisticated the mind that created it, the more complex the strategy, the more artful the execution and the more divergent the roles.

Inherent in strategy, like the air we breath, lies logic or reasoning, and reasoning like the leaves on a tree, hang on the assumptions (beliefs), complexity and mastery layered within.

That the purpose of business is solely for profit translates one way, that business is both profit and social response-ability, another. One strategy simple, one beautifully and richly more complex.

A masterful strategy may be designed, but if those who execute do not or can not grasp the inherent logic, the strategy, un-execution-able.

And countless [business, organisational and personal] strategies, grounded in mythic false assumptions like both mechanical and creative thinking respond equally well to carrot and stick, irrational, delivering the very outcomes they seek to avoid.

Why is that ...

Who Am I, Will Knowing That Help My Performance and Happiness

It’s obvious, right. You lie at the heart of your personal performance and well-being, and at the heart of your performance and happiness lies personal mastery [mastery over you], not self-control, that’s something else entirely.

If by mastery we mean an expert understanding and skill in ...

Is it possible to know who you are, because if performance and happiness depend on mastery and mastery depends on understanding [and skill], then understanding or knowing yourself is mission critical.

Yes it is.

I can’t explain in this post, not because it’s impossible, esoteric or wacky spiritual, but because you’re complex and it’s takes time to not only theoretically understand but experientially verify. Which is the only way you really get to know who you are.

A coffee machine is made up of components that work together as a unit. You, just like a coffee machine are made up of components which work together, including your brain, physiological and energetic components, much like a dog or cat.

But your have something unique. You have the capacity for self-reflective awareness. You can learn about you. You can master you, change your thinking, reasoning and behaviour, quickly.

This makes mastery important, and this what makes knowing 'Who Am I' important to your performance and happiness.

Everything is possible ...

... but some are just more probable.

Why Is It We Lose Our MOJO?

For some it’s the grind, the years and decades of high work, financial, relationship and family performance. It’s not that any of these are bad, it’s just they all drink freely from the cup of MOJO.

For some it’s a big traumatic event which hammered confidence and squeezed the MOJO.

For some the MOJO stopped when the goals of financial independence and professional recognition where satisfied, or whatever goals they may have been. Now the idea of creating a new life’s purpose needs some MOJO we just don’t got.

For some the MOJO we had, which got us here is not the MOJO we need, to get us there.

And for some the MOJO cup was just half empty to begin with.

But MOJO is not a scarce resource ...

We could wait for a lucky event to get the MOJO going, but that’s a bit like playing the lotto, or do what it takes to get the MOJO flowing.

MOJO though, second time round, is a little more tricky and takes a little more mastery ...

[Sunday Contemplation] The Value In And Hidden Trap Of Stories

It's worth remembering ... It's all a story.

We understand the cosmos and our place in it through stories, and it's the story that enables or dis-empowers. That Jews were to blame for the suffering of the Germans, the Nazi story. That the universe began with a big bang, the cosmologists story. That there is a heaven and a hell, the religious story.

Jesus is a story and he told stories and Buddha was a great story teller and most of what we know of him, is a story. Psychology is filled with stories as is theoretical mathematics and quantum physics. Democracy, autocracy, theocracy, all stories.

There is no truth, just stories. Some more consistent that others and others more probable than some, and all stories evolve.

We are driven by stories, we can't escape it. Part of growing up is becoming aware of the stories that motivate and shape our behaviour, and of taking response-ability for crafting better more useful ones when it becomes clear the problem is not with the world, but with our stories of the world.

The story though is not at all important, it's the effect the story has, that is ...

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An Emergent Model Of Business Needs A Greater Complexity Of Thinking

At the heart of the traditional model of business lies core desire to make money, that’s it's overriding purpose, and if possible make a small difference and contribution.

At the heart of the enlightened model of business lies the more complex core desire to make a difference and contribution and almost as an apology, make money.

At the heart of the emergent model of business lies the infinitely more sophisticated and complex core desire to make money, make a unique difference and contribution, and all in a way that’s morally, socially and environmentally responsible.

Three core assumptions, three core motives, three core strategies, three core outcomes and three levels of complexity thinking.

It's Not All Of Mastery

If an expression of gross mastery is the ability to sit physically still regardless of how uncomfortable one may get, for as long as one has previously determined, then what would a corresponding expression of subtle or metal mastery be?

If mastery is the ability to choose freely which physical, emotional or psychological impulse to respond to, then would that not depend on an ability to not respond to any?

Without mastery we are driven by a compulsion to respond to almost every emotion, feeling and thought twitch and impulse, a few of which take us toward our vision, the vast bulk away.

Ask anyone and they would agree on the need for mastery. Ask the same person to explain in exact detail what it means to be perfectly psychologically still and you will at best get a vague non committal answer.

It’s not all of mastery, but mastery depends on choice and on the trained ability to consistently choose which sensation, emotion, thought and feeling to respond to, which means being able to not respond to any.

Stuck Is Always The Problem

and there’s hardly a product or service out there that is not designed to help in one way or another, get us unstuck. Everyone gets stuck, we just get stuck at different places, for different reasons and with different amounts of money.

Those with the right personality, education or talents create initial success faster and easier, but get stuck later. It’s more frustrating for them because they’re unused to getting stuck. They've come to believe they’re bullet proof and beyond it, so when they do, they tend to project the pain they feel.

Getting stuck is always painful.

Those with more difficult personalities, less education or apparent talents get stuck earlier, which is even more painful, with most never getting out the blocs. However, if they do, they can come to create awesome success, but it takes infinitely more effort, persistence and mastery.

And that too will get them stuck, later.

We are never limited by our personalities, education, talents or beliefs, but rather by our refusal to adapt, learn and grow.

Ignore The Existential, Pay The Price

There's a clear cultural focus on developing functional thinking, thinking that needs to solve problems, create outcomes and move forward. We've learned to neglect the existential which asks uncomfortable questions like 'who am I', 'why am I here', 'where did we come from', 'what is the point' and more specifically 'what is the point of me'?

There's the irrational belief that we can ignore or placate the existential with archaic dogma, but we can't. At some point these unanswered questions become the reason, regardless of our professional or material success, we get stuck. And stuck is always going to feel deeply uncomfortable causing frustration, depression and anger and besides our own mental well being, others pay the price.

There is the naive belief that to inquire into the existential ultimately leads to the narrow ideology of organised religeon, which is doesn't.

Sure we're a zillion miles from knowing everything but we know enough to engage in intelligent, meaningful and rewarding existential conversations. Conversations that get us moving forward with clarity, vision and newfound purpose.

Why Do Programs or Promises Of Change Almost Always Fail?

Why is sustainable or permanent behavioural change, personal or organisational, so difficult?

Corporates, business and institutions spend a fortune on training and development, people spend a ton on learning and personal development, and most of it doesn’t take hold ... why?

Billions make relatively simple New Year resolutions, something like taking a bit of exercise more regularly or of changing the way they eat. Stand back, these are not outrageously complex or difficult objectives, yet how much of it translates into real permanent change.

Hardly any ... why?

We can change the what, we can even change the how but if we don’t transform the why, the chances of sustainable or permanent change are slim to nothing.

Changing the 'what' works quickly, but doesn't stick.

Changing the 'how' is more complex and sticks a little longer, but the 'what' still needs to be worked on.

Change the 'why' and a sustainable shift is created, but it's complex and the 'how' and the 'what' still need to be worked on. And systems quickly need to be develop embedding and holding the new patterns.

Change programs fail or achieve limited success because they fail to transform the why. Admittedly the why is seriously tricky to work with which is precisely why it's ignored and why change programs almost always fail.

What

How

Why

And that's the easy part, because ...

There are levels and bundles of why and it's an on going process. This is why it's as important to learn or teach people how to expose, work with and transform the why's, on their own. 

Which is why you need to be very clear about why you want to do it, to begin with.  Sustainable change is usually driven by either big dreams or big pain.

Our Problem Is Immaturity, But Who's Going To Own Up To That?

Sure there’s such a thing as hard work and skills development and with maturity it’s easy to recognise and respond to the need for both. The point is, hard or skillful work does not mean mature thinking and behaviour, and it’s immaturity that can’t cope with, solve or even acknowledge the complexity of the problems we face.

The assumption is that psychological maturity develops automatically with age, which it doesn't.

The assumption is that we should instinctively know how to psychologically grow up, which is absolutely not the case. 

The assumption is that we have been taught how to develop maturity, which we haven't.

The assumption is that corporate, political and organisational leaders are mature, which is profoundly untrue. They can be amongst the least mature, but the most confident or driven (driven by what makes for an interesting discussion).

The only way immaturity (less mature than is needed to effectively deal with the problem) can solve complex problems, is either by dismissing or ignoring large chunks of the problem or the whole problem itself.

Our problem is a profound lack of maturity, measured against the complexity of the problems we face. And almost everyone is looking to the next person to solve their problem of not being able to understand the problems to begin with.

Or we ignore large chunks or the entirety of the problem and leave it to the leaders ...

[Sunday Contemplation] Are You Trapped In The Old, Searching For The New?

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Dear friends

There is the old and there is the new, the old is not bad and the new not good, both have their place on the scale of usefulness.

The old is crumbling and the new struggling to be born, but although decaying the old is not weak for it controls both real world power and wealth.

The new listens to the words of the old but hears only stories, myths and the anxieties of children. And in listening to the new, the old although perceiving a spark, inevitably sees only weakness as in the garbled wisdom of the elderly.

Although strong the old is rigid, and although soft the new is open and interested.

The old was developed using discipline, control and punishment and the new by mastery, autonomy and purpose. The old collects in groups driven by the need to protect and collude and the new by common interests, vision and the wholehearted desire to cooperatively create.

The old was once new as the new is now, and the new over time will become as the old has now become. All things great once began as fragile and all things decayed once stood as great.

There is the new way and there is the old and although they use the same words they speak a different language.

One speaks of power and ancestry and the other of mastery and authenticity. One speaks of control, the other of influence. One speaks of peace while making war and the other of disobedience while creating tolerance.

The old is simple, but it all it's cleverness can't keep up. And for the new to be, it must learn to embrace the core truths of the old and emerge not replace.

Creating Success and Deep Happiness, How?

It was in the early days of teaching meditation and enlightenment that I met a guy who had been meditating for 20 years, 2 hrs per day, with a total time investment of 14,600hrs. His challenge was ... the meditation wasn't translating into real success or a better quality of life i.e. his life still sucked.

The answer, he was doing it wrong, so wrong it was hurting. He had to start again, which as I'm sure you can imagine, wasn't enthralling.

Sure, he learned discipline and self-control and although that helped him achieve a level or type of success, it wasn't the total success he wanted nor the deep happiness he longed for.

Effort, discipline and control take us only so far and although they may deliver a measure of success, even happiness, to the extent it's achieved, a hefty price is paid.

This is the world we live in, the world we've created. The model of success we've developed and which we unquestionably follow achieves limited success for some, maximum success for a tiny few and is responsible for the untold pain and suffering of nearly everyone.

I believe it's important we cultivate and grow our desire to succeed and experience deep happiness, but more importantly we need to carefully re-think how we measure it, how we go about achieving it and why we want it to begin with.

If our limited success and happiness comes at the expense of others and theirs at ours, which in the current model whether we acknowledge it or not, it does, then it's time to collectively change the model.

On the road to greater success and deeper happiness effort is crucial, right effort, mission critical.

Are You Becoming More Valuable...

... because it’s something we train ourselves to become, not something fixed, dependent upon circumstances, knowledge or skills we have or don’t, are born with or not?

Success and happiness isn’t a light switch either on or off, it’s a dimmer knob we turn, more one way, brighter, more the other, dimmer.

The more success you learn to create and the happier you are, the more valuable you become. And one day I’m certain, you will ask yourself this one simple question ...

Did I have the vision to become more valuable?

Why Your Boss Isn't Really Interested In Your Learning and Development

Real learning means developing clarity of purpose, higher levels of performance and expectation and the evolving need for autonomy. Learning will change the way you think, problem solve, communicate, behave, do things and organize. It will mean real measurable results and change.

And if it doesn’t, there has been no real learning at all.

And they, by design or compliancy, want more for comparatively less without upsetting the status-quo.

So if you’re serious about creating success and deep happiness, you will need to take matters into your own hands, beginning with learning self-mastery, leadership and influence.

How To Get From Here To There?

There isn’t a person on the planet who’s not either going somewhere, or stuck, which in a weird way is still going somewhere ... more stuck.

Now here can be one of several places, either stuck, moving forward and you want to get there, faster, or moving forward but not in the direction of there, some other direction you don't want to be going.

Stuck means no forward momentum and suffocatingly little space. Trapped in repetitive patterns (of behavior and systems) and results, neither of which provide much happiness or meaning. Getting unstuck means energetically creating both space and movement. Space allows for movement and movement makes space, either of which are random because it’s actually the momentum you’re searching for. It's the momentum that eventually breaks through, and gets you unstuck.

Getting there faster means clarity and vision and going through the tough but regular process of deciding what's needed and what's baggage. Lose the baggage and develop what’s needed, which moves you along faster and creates greater momentum. Of course greater momentum and speed require greater mastery and skill.

Heading in the wrong direction means, slowing down, revisiting vision and reducing momentum which gets you to the point of being able take an exit. You don't need to come to a complete stop, but you can't be zooming along either, you'll just keep missing the exit and end up getting stuck at high speed.

Why Does My Success Seem Always Just One Step Ahead?

Imagine living inside a whisper, a whisper neither audible nor comprehensible, a whisper of neither words nor thoughts, but a feeling.

Impossible to locate or eradicate, endlessly repeating the mantra, 'there's something wrong, there's something dreadfully wrong, there something missing, you need to fix what's wrong, you need to find what's missing ... then and only then will you experience the success, happiness and meaning you desire.'

And no matter what success you achieve, how much personal growth you do or how much you party, congregate or bathe in luxury, the whisper only grows becoming a roar, which although you still can't hear (because it’s a feeling and not a thought or word) soon comes to dominate your mental landscape.

There's something dreadfully wrong, there's something missing ... It’s an itch you can not seem to scratch.

Every success inevitably translates to failure, every relationship inevitably experienced as lack.

Feeding it makes it hungrier, ignoring it makes it louder. Discipline quietens it, but when austerity ends which it must, it emerges louder and stronger than ever.

There’s something wrong with me, the world, my partner, friends and family. There’s something missing, I need to discover what’s missing. Like a spotlight it shines its perception of lack and wrong on all it sees, driving your anxiety filled participation.

In truth nothing is missing, nothing is wrong, it’s simply the projection of a feeling, the interpretation of an unseen mindset assumption, that whispers ...

But this does not mean there is no work to do.

Unlike Our Ancestors ...

... we have the potential to willfully transform how we think, behave and organise, quickly.

Watching David Attenborough's First Life I was fascinated to see the first creatures struggle from sea onto land, making heroic efforts to breath, move and survive in an utterly new and hostile environment.

Completely unaware of what they were doing, they are none-the-less the hero’s of evolution, and we the recipients. If they could have thought, if they had been able to appreciate the gravity and the slim chance of success their efforts had, most I believe would simply have slipped back into the ocean.

Today, right now we are making valiant efforts to evolve and adapt to an utterly new environment. Many will fail, but all attempts are needed, because in the struggle to adapt, learn and develop, quantity counts.

But we have the nuke of evolutionary armament. We have a developed brain which observes, reasons and re-wires, constantly adapting and changing.

It’s not a given though, it’s a trained, developed and mastered capacity.

It's Easier the Simpler It Is

We mistakenly believe that thinking is only about new knowledge and ideas, and it is, but it's also about methods of reasoning and logic. For example, the traditional model of business has one objective, to make money and there's nothing wrong with that, except now include real social, moral and environmental responsibility and the logic breaks down. It can’t cope.

It's easier to make money without the constraints of social, moral and environmental responsibility (to whatever degree) and more difficult if there are. It creates a whole new level of complexity needing a whole new way of reasoning and thinking to solve.

But this new logic is not lying around waiting to be found or discovered, it literally has to be created, and anything created progresses through the stages of trial and error.

This makes the work of the socially responsible entrepreneur, business owner and professional infinitely more complex. Not only are they running the show, but they’re working out a new ways of thinking and behaving and ‘competing’ with businesses that do not operate under these 'onerous' constraints.

Success Enables

Success itself is of limited personal value. It's the evolving meaning, purpose and happiness it enables, we ultimately desire.

Success ...

... on the one hand is about results and achieving acknowledged and measurable objectives. It moves through levels of difficulty and complexity. The meaning and happiness experienced at one soon gives way to frustration and resentment, until the challenges of the next are embraced.

... on the other is about consistent, measured and acknowledged learning and development regardless of the results. Happiness and meaning are experienced in proportion to the depth and speed of the learning and growth.

The danger, as always, lies in leaping from the heavens and trying to fly with only one wing.

From Job to Calling, Successfully

A job is what we do when we are young and have limited experience, untrained abilities, talent and self-mastery. It satisfies the fundamental motivation of needing to earn money and provides at least initially a degree of happiness and meaning.

A career is what we do when we are more mature, have experience and developed a degree of vision and trained abilities, talents and self-mastery. It satisfies the fundamental motivation for recognition and provides a new higher degree of happiness and meaning.

A calling is what we do when we are 'psychologically' mature to make a significant difference and contribution in the world, have honed abilities, talents and self-mastery and crafted a unique and compelling vision. It satisfies the fundamental motivation to ‘create’ and provides significantly higher levels of happiness and meaning.

Outer success is the ability to meet predefined objectives in spite of, or more accurately because of, adverse, difficult, challenging or changing contexts. Inner success is the ability to consistently learn and improve regardless of whether outer objectives are met or not.

Clarity in Communication Improves Results

All behavior is communication and all communication either asks for a need to be met or meets the need of another.

Asking your partner to meet your need to be loved is not expressing a need, it's expressing how you will feel after your need has been met. It does not help them understand what they need to do in order for you to feel loved or validated.

And although we may know how we want to feel, we most often have no idea of how to get there. And even if we did we’re afraid to ask, or we don't know how to ask in a way that actually works.

'Darling, I’m feeling vulnerable right now, could you give me a big teddy bear hug and let me know you care'.

This expresses to my partner, how I feel and makes a clear behavioural request they can easily understand and meet, if they so choose.

But it leaves me out on a limb.

Solving Big Problems (We All Have Them)

I help people solve big problems, but obviously only the people who acknowledge they have big problems to solve. Most live in denial, self-righteous indignation or blissful ignorance, which although sounds delightful does not mean they escape the consequences of not solving them.

If you're falling it does not matter whether you know, blame someone else or deny the fact you’re falling for the consequences of hitting the road to be just as real.

Of the people who acknowledge they have big problems to solve most are in crisis, which makes the process infinitely more difficult, because crisis promotes the victim, absorbs brain power and limits both creative and strategic thinking.

A tiny few both acknowledge there are complex problems to solve and stand prepared to do the mental work required to develop the talents and potentials needed to begin the often protracted and uncomfortable work of owning, and solving them.

Is Presence All It's Cracked Up To Be

Presence is space and time, but all the space and time in the world is not going to help you if your vision, thinking, beliefs, assumptions, reasoning and skills are trapped in spirals of dysfunctionality.

A guy with a knife come charging at you, kamikaze style. You notice and right away things slow way down, like shifting gears in a car. Not like slow motion or walking through water, you just feel calm, centred and very alert and you have time to look around and think in surprisingly complex ways, and calculate. This gives you an edge, but only if your not thinking in circles.

You’re in a super heightened state of alertness where your senses and thinking are turbocharged, but without tension or anxiety, in fact you’ve dropped a notch and are super relaxed

This is called presence and if you’ve done the time (training) you’ll have access to it, but it’s in times of crisis that you really notice and need it, call it the moments of measure. Cos it’s not often a guy with a rising sun bandanna and a carving knife comes charging at you screaming ... banzai ...

That gets me thinking about our friend the haka’ring Maori ... wonder what’s up with him.

Ok, so presence, freedom, space, call it what you will, has its uses and I’m sure you get that.

But here’s the thing ...

With all the time in the world, if you haven’t developed a vision and purpose and new creative and strategic ways of thinking, which includes rationalising your beliefs and assumptions and developing skills and your capacity to hear, interpret and respond to your intuition, you’re not gonna be much better off than you were when walking around in a coma.

Yes, it is complex and yes there is a lot to learn, but we all face big challenges and reductionist simplistic thinking, which may appear to solve complex problems, only ends up making them worse.

And training your vision, thinking, reasoning, logic, intuition and skills without developing presence is just as erroneous, because although we need new ways of thinking and reasoning to solve big problems,without space, time and objectivity we remain trapped in circles.

It’s in the moments of crisis that we get to check if the work we’ve done, has stuck.

And even using the better equipment will not automatically translate into better result, cos there’s about a billion things influencing what it is that you end up doing. It’s simply a process of trial and error and over time noticing slowly improving outcomes.

Which of course is why you need to be very clear about why you’re doing it - i.e. developing your capacity to be present, transforming your thinking, reasoning and logic and developing your skills and intuition - to begin with, because more than likely your results, at the beginning, are gonna be worse and not better.

I know, I can be a party pooper.

Guess that’s why most people only start when they’re in crisis and things just couldn’t get any worse. Or business changes when they’re staring bankruptcy in the eyeballs. Or, and this is apt, humanity changes only when we get that we might really be facing extinction.

Go figure ...

Self, Culture and Evolution

It’s the self that’s experiencing life, the degree of happiness, joy, satisfaction, reward, meaning and purpose, you’re feeling, and it’s the same self that’s working to influence (create), along with all the others, our cultural future, and secondly deal with the consequences of the future which we’ve all already influenced and created, and which you’re now living through.

It’s your quality of experience that’s determining the degree and quality of your participation and it’s the results you’re living through that’s influencing and even determining your quality of experience.

And all of this within an evolving 100,000 year cultural and 13.7 billion years cosmic process.

I wish I could make it simpler and easier, but without understanding who this self is (physical, metal and psychological) and without understanding the principals of evolution, you’re going to find yourself, to one degree or another, floundering with less influence and effectiveness (than you could have), which means more struggle and hardship, over your moment to moment experience, the nature and quality of your participation and the future results you/we create and experience.

And the argument that it’s all a mystery, is just no longer valid. It’s not that we know everything, it’s that we know enough ... to take response-ability.

And we swim within a common knowledge of self and evolution that’s at best archaic and at worst random, contradictory, irrational and self emasculating, but we now have the knowledge or at least, we have enough.

So let me ask, what steps have you taken to gain real knowledge, not common knowledge, of this self within a cosmic and culturally evolving context, because if you think about it for just a moment it’s obvious that without knowledge and skill in working with this self and without knowledge and skill in working within culture and an evolving context, you are going to struggle, be less effective and influential and feel more dis-empowered and disenfranchised?

Your Inconsistency Is 100% Consistent With Your Real Beliefs

A Simple Story

From the bathroom I heard a voice, that of one of my daughters, yes I have 3, shout, ‘mommy, I need some soap’, and from the kitchen I heard mommy, that would be my wife, shout in reply, ‘don’t shout at me from another room, it’s rude’.

An easy observation would be that my wife, believing that shouting from another room was rude, was making efforts to train my daughter in more polite behaviour.

But what was really going on is fascinating.

Of Purpose And Evolution

I’m sure you’ve deeply considered the mind-expanding insight that our highly developed capacity for self-reflective awareness and individuality is the product of a hundred thousand years of cultural evolution, and cultural evolution the product of three billion years of biological evolution, and biological evolution the product of almost fourteen billion years of cosmic evolution, and all of it just one unfolding process.

And no matter how you slice the cake, you come back again and again to the questions, for what purpose, to what end and what (if anything) drives this engine of evolution?

What's The Value In Getting All Wound Up?

I used to teach Hatha Yoga and through the carefully constructed practice, I would see my clients visibly soften. And after the classes many would say, wow Paul, I feel so relaxed, open, alive and alert, thank you so much.

And no sooner had they put there foot out the door then they started winding themselves up again.

And my question is why, why would anyone do that to themselves, and to the rest of us?

When Is The Issue Mindset And When Is It ... Something Else? Pt2

For Pt1

Response to Pt1:
Thanks for addressing my question [When is the issue mindset and when is it ... something else?]

How much do you actually know about the human psyche, your psyche, that internal mechanism that drives your behaviour and logic.

I'm a mystery to myself, revealed weekly like a serialized detective novel. My whole life is about figuring out why, what, how and all that, searching for clues.