The friend who says he is excited about attending your book-club meetings probably believes he is. As does the company that says it believes in the value of team work, and the importance of client and staff [retention]. And the religious person who talks about 'love thy neighbour' wants to hold that value, but lacks the maturity to do so.
The problem is that how we behave and what we do is often [far more often than we would like to acknowledge] communicating something quite different to want we think or would like to think, we believe.
Contradictory values destroys trust without which there is a breakdown in relationship. This wrecks marriages, clients relationships, friendships and social integration. And forms an invisible barrier to authentic communication, cooperation and innovation.
We tell our partner and family we love them, but miss events and family functions. This communicates, we don't, that they are not a priority. And they see and understand this, even if they pretend they don't.
We go to great lengths to avoid exposing someone's contradictory values, because we won't be thanked for it, and probably more to the point... we don't them to expose ours. It's a silent social agreement designed to keep things functioning, albeit without any significant levels of trust.
Hence the need for regulations, lawyers and a ridiculously complex legal system.
But at a time when creativity, innovation and 'wicked' problems are too big for any one person, group or organisation to solve, trust becomes important.
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