If you want the benefits of playing by new rules, master the old ones first.

In this article: The philosophy of 'do only what feels good or right' only works when you have achieved an appropriate level of mastery and are certain that you're not avoiding, 'that which feels bad or wrong'.

But before you get to play by that new more appealing rule, you need to earn your stripes.

Until then the rule is first acknowledge and then own, accept and surrender to, that which feels bad. Not necessarily the inner or outer situations which provoked them, but rather the feelings themselves.

And the more painful they are, the more you need to own them, or be owned by them.

My kids only get to eat dessert after they have finished eating their meal including their veggies, and there's a solid reason for the rule. If they ate only what felt good or right, they would die of malnutrition within the year, probably sooner.

As adults we feel entitled to play by the rules lying on the other side of mastery, before actually having achieved the appropriate level of mastery. And although it may feel good for a while, there are always consequences.

Malnutrition / obesity and a host of other pschyo-physiologogical problems are the consequence of playing by the rule, eat only that which tastes good, before having developed an appropriate level of common sense.

And stress, frustration, and other unwanted results are the consequences of playing by the rule 'do only that which feels good', before having come to understand and master ... feelings, and the states of consciousness which produce them.

And traditional notions of authority, position, wealth and age are not indicators of mastery, only status.